Power to Possess
I was furious. Ugh, fuck him and his feelings.
My ♥ aches in my chest. It beats to a song only I can hear.
I feel his pain, and I shouldn't feel his pain.
Only lovers do that. This is a one-sided affair, that was once
apparently two sided, but cut by commitment.
It makes no sense, and yet perfect sense.
Im not sure, but I am, that the only reason I feel this way is because I
don't have another.
A replacement, an overachiever in a sort of way. But.
It is hard to find a replacement for something like that.
Someone like him. To me, he was perfection without warning.
I believe the only reason I can overcome his flaws is either 1. I love
him Or 2. I am alone.
A disturbing thought would be if it were both. Probably is.
Most of the time I do wonder if he ever thinks about me, and not just
what I've "done to him".
Im not saying unflawed, im just saying that I don't see my flaw. Anywhoo,
to read his pain causes me the same.
And I know he won't, he won't let me in because he's tried that, and we
failed. We were a failure from the beginning, a rift in a time zone.