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2010-12-19 01:52:15 (UTC)

Am I really still a virgin?

I didn't even like him, I'm really not even sure why I did it. I
just wanted to get it over with I was looking for love in all the
wrong places, and it's funny because I still haven't found it. I guess
the "studies" were right girls who grow up without a day a more likely
to be "easy", is that what leading scientists call it? I mean all I
did was give him head and then next thing you know he was inside me.
We were having sex. Geesh! Then it was over it lasted like 15 minutes
and it was over totally different than I expected it to be, I kinda
wanted to laugh all these girls wanted to be with him and then he got
with me and he could only go for 15 about
disappointing! Now I met this guy and now I have to relive that
disappointing day all over again.
I'm not sure which hole he put it in! WTF?! That's what I said. I
mean after it was all said and done I didn't really think about it.
Like I didn't know that you were supposed to bleed after you were done
but you were and I didn't! Now I'm confused am I still a virgin or did
I just get it in the butt. Should I say it less vulgar like? Well did
I just have anal sex? I don't want to ask because he's older than me
and I'm so freaking embarrassed. Like what if I have sex with this guy
and I start bleeding and I tell him that I'm not virgin and I am. Ugh!
I hate this I'm so confused. Now I just find myself giving guys head
and getting fingered by guys because I'm scared that I'm not a virgin.
Geesh I be feeling like a whore bag.
I mean it's so freaking weird though. I read my Bible and I'm a
devout Christian. But I have sex! And I'm sure that the Bible says
something about sex and having it before marriage and doing it with
someone who isn't the same religion as you. FOH! Good Lord why did you
make me the bad child? So basically I guess I'm never having sex until
I'm married and that's the end of that! I'll be forced to give head
and get my vagina fingered for the rest of my life. I really hate
this....being a woman is so confusing. You have to be sexy but you
can't be easy. Too many standards!

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