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2010-12-18 22:05:19 (UTC)


I cant stop writing tonight. This ones about nat and I, coz I want the
history to be recorded.

I met her in year 12. This slim, tom boyish hippy girl with a really
optemistic atitude to life.

She was with this long term hippy fella who was in his 20's while we
were in our 17-18s.

We all looked up to Eddy, the bf. He was a nice dude, mature and could
get us loads of drugs. And nobody thought they should break up and all
said the 2 were untouchable and perfect together. Except me. I said to
myself that I'd steal Nat in a second. But I didnt want a long terma
at the time, because I was still in my long distance with Harriet from
England. I ended up being dumped by Harriet over the phone one cold
morning at about 6, while the city woke up around me. I got misserable
and cried my way over to mates, then from party to party, bar to bar,
just turning up to school to get girls to come back to my share
house... It was the year I lost all my inocence. I screwed, cheated,
took fuck loads of drugs, became fit and strong from rock climbing and
fucked on school camp! AHHAHAHA!

But I knew not to mess with Nat in this frame of mind. She was too
special. SOmething about her nature, I never even thought of going
there, just knew that one day I would. It seemed like destiny.

A year or two later, when I was out of school, unemployed and drinking
to much, fat and genrally unhappy, we got hold of some shrooms and
gobbled them down. Nat and her fuck head bf came round with their crew
wich was really nats brothers crew. they were all fucked up on all
sorts of drugs and I didnt like nats company at all.

It was that night I realized I loved her, would do anything for her. I
made her BF reveal himself for the twit he was and a day later asked
nat to be with me. TO run away with me over seas or I'd cancel my trip
and stay with her.

She turned me down. Though I know in her heart, she wanted to be with me.

Next time I saw her, I was with Annie. Fit and string and brown and
confident from my travels. We went for the same job together and
straight away the sparks were flying! Like really flying!!!!

We kissed once under the trees and decided not to do it again, as I
was with annie.

But she kept coming around or going out with us and no matter what,
we'd find ourselfs in situations were we really had to try not to
cheat. She was also with some new twat called Borric. She obviously
really regretted not coming with me.

There was this one time when I was i nbed with annie and Nat and annie
went to sleep while nat kept running her hands all over my body. She
even touched my penis, stroked it a few times.

Then annie went back to adelaide to see her folks for a w/e.

Nat came over, off her brain on loads of shrooms and made her moves.
Eventually we were making out in my bed and I was kissing her and
ketting at her soft beautiful breasts. But I pulled back and so did
she. I'll never regret anything so much.

Annie and I never worked out and Nat had gone off with Nic, telling me
that Nic somehow reminded her of me. That changed and she fell in love
with nic.... though hes a fuckin prick. Annie went and stayed with
them while I took alot of drus and fucked a lot of girls again.

Annie, being the evil temptress she is, made nic disloyal to Nat and
tried to get with her. Annie had found out about mine and Nats naughty
history together and desided to take it out by making nic look like a
fool. She never even fucked him, just tempted him. He even got
pictures of her and beats off to them to this day. Tosser.

Nat found out about that and was sad and I yelled at Annnie to leave
em alone and ra ra ra.

I eneded up taking to many drus and running home for christmas to be
with Mum and dad and recoop my brain.

I left to early and came back. Nic was a cunt when I came to see him,
said "HI" misserably and went to bed. So I grabbed Nat and Slum and
Grinpukes and we all went camping at the beach without Nic. Nat and I
naturally made moves with one another and once again made her my
highest priority.

I lost all initiative and worked with only my heart. I barely met
other girls. Just delt with Nat and all her problems. Her family
breaking up, nic being a twat. I'd take her to coffee, rent movies,
cook for her, we did art together and I always made it a rule to leave
before night fall so that it was obvious I didnt want to be around
when nic was there. I heard them fucking a few times besides. My head
would fill with rage and I'd clench fists and eventually leave, lost
and a slave to love.

One day, as winter was coming on and we found ourselves holding
eachother against the cold I told her I was in love with her like no
man had ever loved a woman.

She admitted to loving me and for a week she would not choose.

She could never choose. She was suburb born and loved her safety. I
had no money... No job... But I was and am free and Nic is a twat and
will always be.

I wrote her letters and kissed her when we were drunk and argued and
cried and did everything I thought there was to do, but she would not
come. She would come close, but never the whole way. She told me I'd
be the one and it would be her and I till the end of days, but she was

So I left and said, come with me, i'll buy you a ticket... I SHOULD

She didn't come. And to thins day I compare all other women to her. I
still havent found anyone who compares.

But she would not come out of fear, when I put my soul on the line,
all my pain. And while I love her with all my soul, some of that love
is bitter and cool for her, she who would not embrace the love she
knew would be the best thing in all the world.