Experienced Life
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2010-12-10 01:40:00 (UTC)

Got an email from the Ex

Before I opened her email, I contemplated just deleting it. Curiosity
got the best of me but before I opened it, I did a self assessment of
myself. I was feeling ok before I opened her email. I was going to see
how it effects me after I opened and read it. After reading her email,
I quickly checked my frame of mind. Surprisingly, there was little
change in me. Whew, I thank God for that. This is what I prayed for.
Peace and healing.

This is what she sent exactly with no grammar corrections on my part.

" Sorry to bother but is has been so dificult to let go it just hurts
so much hope you are ok with your new friend. "

I was thinking about telling her that she has it all now so not to
worry. She has a home, her boyfriend and the kids. She got it made and
she should be happy.
I could have told her that I wasn't even dating anyone. This is what
she meant by "new friend". I too have to admit I'm hurt and trying to
get over this pain. I could have said that I wasn't successful in
hooking up with anyone yet. I could have gotten upset and told her
that she chose her life and left and she could go fuck herself. I'm
not playing her game anymore.

Then I recall an email from someone telling me not to let her see you
down. Don't feed the fire. If she thinks I'm with someone, then let
her think that. I was going to send her something she sent to her
boyfriend about how her love has no boundaries like she said so why
fuck with emailing me these words now?

In the end, I felt the best answer would be to not answer. If she
misses me, well that was her choice. If she thinks I'm seeing someone
already, then let her own imagination go running wild.

Again, I didn't reply and think this was the best thing for me to do.
I can see by my reaction that I'm getting good at not letting her get
a rise out of me. I've come to the conclusion that I have changed a
little. I'm a bit more seasoned and tougher.

The hardest part of standing up for yourself and doing the right thing
is you are usually doing it all by yourself. Also the blue balls
factor doesn't really help too. lol