Heartkiller

My mind
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PropellerAds
2010-12-07 03:06:40 (UTC)

Scared

Here I am ready to start a new job something i have never done in my
life and Im scared out of my mind... Will I be good at it?? Well I
remember everything I need to remember??? What if I hurt someone...
when I am spouse to be helping someone.. What if I dont get this
interview.... What if all my hard I have done in the past 7 months
is for nothing.... What if... What if.... Ahhhh I hate what ifs....
But like i was told i have no selfconfidens... (spelling i no) I
dont think of myself as good or doing good... I only think bad of
myself... I can always look at the happy side of things but not
myself... I am not ready for this interview... I cant even answer
one ? right... Why do I want to work with kids.... Well cause I love
all kids so much.. My heart is for kids... my life is for kids...
and i want to help make them better... But i was told that is not a
good enough answer... Well fine then.. how about this.... cause when
i was 9 i was in the hospital for 4 months.. and there was this one
nurse who i remember to this day that made me feel good... she
brought light into my life when all i wanted to was die... she made
me happy when all i felt was pain... she was speical to me... and
then there was this one nurse who was meaner then crap... she made
me cry when ever she came into my room... she made me feel bad about
being there... and kids need more of the nurse that cares no matter
what is wrong... and I want to be that type of person... i want kids
20 years form now be like.. i remember that one nurse...


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