ashwriter101

Journal of a Jedi Padawan
2010-12-06 04:21:26 (UTC)

Jealousy

Ever get that feeling when you know you've done something horribly
wrong? When it costs you, more than it pays? When it not only hurts
you, but hurts others? I need help guys. I'm lost.
I hated Trixie. She had stolen Lane AND Sylis away from me. I was
consumed with jealousy.
Inside, I KNEW Trixie couldn't change anything between Lane and I.
He was my big brother. I should've been happy for him! Sylis loves
anyone who loves her, which is everyone. I should have accepted
whatever came my way. And you know what? When in doubt, don't. Thats
one of my rules. But I haven't been following it recently.
I.... Practically sold something of mine to a god. My freedom.
Whatever he says, when he says it... I have to do right then. Doesn't
matter if Lane's life is in my hands, I have to help Alsten, the great
and magical freakin god. I knew I shouldn't, but I did anyway. I asked
him to take care of Trixie and make Lane stop falling in love with
her. It was stupid and out of jealousy. So, he offered that he could
make Lane forget about Trixie forever. So long as I keep my payment.
To practically be his slave, servant, errand girl, whatever he needs
me to be, forever. And I signed on the line.
I'm such an idiot sometimes!! So, far, I can't insult him, and I
have to agree with everything he says (when he tells me to). And if I
dont, I get "a tiny pinch". On a scale from 1 to 10?
"100000000000000000000000". I've practically got another Omni I made
myself. Way to go Alix. Well you know what? I don't care if he reads
this or not, and I don't care about the pain. He is as big an idiot as
me. A jerk, an idiot, and just... a low down, humorous, tricky, evil,
selfish, and stupid god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can do die in a
hole. He's that bad because not only is he a god, but he's also
supposed to be my friend and talk me out of it, not take advantage of
it! And now I'm his slave, like I was Omni's. WOOP-DE FREAKIN DO!
The catch? Im his slave forever, and until I can find a loop-hole,
I'm stuck like this. Supposedly forever. But if my guilt gets so bad,
I know a catch. I have to get a pink jewel and get him two feet from
it and he'll remember. He'll hate me, but he'll be happy in love
again. Or, I've just got to let them meet again. True love conquers
all, right? I sure hope thats true. Because I remember that child-like
spark in his eye when he kissed her. No, not a spark, a flame. It was
love. A real love I don't think I'll ever truly find. Maybe thats what
I was really jealous of. When thats gone, I can tell I'm going to feel
TERRIBLE!
You know, I could blame Lane for this. For falling in love. I could
blame Trixie for everything. Or Alsten. Or Sylis. Or jealousy. Or even
a nearby ant!!! But I guess the only one I can truly blame is me, huh?
Truth? I know its all my fault. Who knows? I haven't tested it out
yet. Maybe Lane will still be the same old Lane. Like the big brother
of the group again. Won't know until we find out.
But anyway, I need your help, whoever is reading this. What should
I do? Keep the same old Lane I knew without Trixie and the day dreams?
Or give him his complete happiness at the expense of probably a
punishment and him hating me? Leave your comments, please. And if you
happen to be a good lawyer, haha, can you help find a loop hole? May
the Force be with you. Time to see what happens.




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