Japoneza

Helpless Lover
2010-12-04 02:32:17 (UTC)

First Entry

I am so bored at home just watching movies. Today I watched "Letters
to Juliet." It was a wonderful movie that even made me cry. It also
reminded me so much of Andres. I cannot go by a day without thinking
about him and how it would of been if i had married him instead. Right
now i would be living in Colombia managing our own business and living
in our beach house that we always talked and thought about and that
now he actually did built.
Instead I am in the U.S. married to my supposedly "high
school sweetheart" I would of never guessed that after just 2 months
of being married Andres would show up sending me a message on facebook
telling me that now he had finally divorced Ingryd and went back to
Colombia to start the business he always wanted to. Then when he asked
me how my life was i responded "well i'm married now" life is so
ironic and unexpected. It sucks! I had the opportunity to leave with
him 3 yrs ago when he told me to get all my things ready so that we
can leave together. At that moment i couldn't. I was only 20 I
couldn't just leave my family and leave Joe who i had been dating
since 10th grade in high school and break his heart out of nowhere.
That was actually what hurt me the most to do; break joe's heart. I
have been his first everything, first kiss, first girlfriend, first
sex partner and now first wife.

But now, well I don't even think that Joe loves me the same way
he use to anymore. Not that he's always been so romantic with me;
which he is naturally a cold person; but he doesn't say any sweet
things to me anymore. I just have a girl feeling. Especially now since
it's been like 3 wks ago he lied to me about talking to Patty from his
job on the phone at 2am in the morning. That completely shocked me! I
would of never thought Joe would lie to me. I don't know something
tells me he has feelings for that girl but of course he won't admit it
to me. But hey what could I expect? I am nobody to judge him. I have
done worse things than he has or probably ever will do to me.




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