suicide risk

Kelsey's World
2010-11-29 22:26:48 (UTC)

my parents

Oh my god I can’t stand my mom she is a bitch. She is so unfair
Whenever I try to talk to her she always says stop making excusing
or That not true or you are blowing it up or I don’t want to talk
about It right now it’s so unfair and she doesn’t listen to me she
always Thinks she is right we have been fighting a lot lately and
it’s really Stressing me out and its all cause of this group she
made me join she Didn’t ask me well she asked me like 3 months ago
when I was in a Slump and now I am not and she didn’t ask if I
changed my mind I know She just trying to help but she thinks the
doctors know how to help But the doctors don’t know anything they
don’t live in my shoes Day by day she always taking what the doctors
says over me I just wish She would let me choose instead of making
my mind up for me this Group goes every Saturday from September to
June and ever since I Started this group are relationship as gotten
really stressful and I try To tell her but she is forcing me to do
this group I am scared to Tell her cause when I have tried before she
said that it wasn’t a good Enough reason to quit and I hardly see my
dad and I just need a break But she won’t let me miss one group like
this group goes for 10 months Would it be so bad if I missed 1 group
like once a month to go to my Dads house for the weekend like that
not that much and I don’t think It will hurt me I don’t know what to
do I can’t tell her cause I am Scared she will say stop making
excusing or that not true or you are Blowing it up or I don’t want
to talk about it right now or that it Wasn’t a good enough reason to
quit or miss group I love group and its Fun but it’s too much its
causing problems with me and my mom I given Up on telling her cause
of what she has said in the past and when I Tell her that its true
she saying no I didn’t or that I am trying to Shift all the blame on
to her it’s so annoying and even if I talk to One of my councilors
the agree with my mom and my doctor I am so mad I have no one talk
to because they are all taking the doctors word over Mine ugh ugh,
ugh, ugh, like it’s insane I am losing sleep cause of this and I am
tired I just want to own my life and I want to be able To trust her
and have her listen to me without acting like I am dumb She is so
fussing I mean she doesn’t have to go to high school 5 days a week.
She is so picking I have to vacuum every week. And by the end of the
week I am dead tired and she knows that but still she getting mad
when I don’t do it I try to do it but she doesn’t seem to notice
when I do it and she just points out what I did wrong before even
saying thank you to me It’s getting so bad I don’t want to go home
after school I dread the end of the day. I don’t think that is a good
thing. I can’t focus at school cause I am worried about going home I
am sick of my mom!! I don’t know what to do I don’t know where to
turn it’s like every night we get in to a fight sometimes we fight
more than once a night and it carries on to the next day sometime it
gets so tense that it feels almost unbearable. I don’t get why
everyone is trying to make me more social it like who I am is not
good enough why can’t they just let me be who I want to be I don’t
like when my mom says thing to people that I don’t want people to
find out I scream at her and she says she won’t do it again but she
does I am getting sick of hearing I try to remember or I won’t do it
again she never follows through. I don’t know what to do it feels
like no one is on my side there all on my mom or the doctors side. I
feel really alone I don’t know who I can talk to would listen and
take my side of things cause it’s like my side is unimportant to my
mom. I am stressing out and can’t focus in class I know that my mom
wants me to be more social but I don’t think this group is working
out its really fun and I like it my mom thinks the only reason this
is going now is cause I don’t want to do group it’s like that group
is more important than me seeing my dad or saving mine and my moms
relationship and I don’t like that I wish she would listen and she is
so annoying right now plus its unfair that I get to miss group when I
have a pd day but not any other weekend according to my mom it’s a
onetime thing and I don’t know how to talk to my mom about this cause
when I tried before its just ended up with me running to my room
crying in pure frustration. It’s really tense between us all the time
and my mom always waits for me to go say sorry first then she will
say sorry maybe she acts like nothing is her fault and everything is
my fault I just want to be able to trust her and know she will listen
to me without saying that she has said past I need to get out of
there but I am not old enough to live on my own and I can’t move with
my dad cause he agrees with my mom and not me it’s really annoying




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