Experienced Life
Ad 2:
2010-11-28 06:49:38 (UTC)

Out of sight, out of mind battle

Well, I've been fighting with the "out of sight, out of mind" game
plan. It's a slowwwwww process. I can actually slowly gauge myself on
the slow improvement of my mental health improving when I don't
respond to the Ex's emails.

I realize that I am human and there are setbacks from time-to-time but
I realize this also and I do manage the situation as best as I can. It
does set me back a little but that's human. What gets me is the
unexpected stuff that happens and pushes me way back and causes me
much more unneeded stress.

I got one from the Ex. She is shrewdly improving on her psycho
abilities too. I now hardly respond to any of her emails but one did
catch my eye that I had to respond. She of course as always suddenly
forget how to fucking use her dialing features of her phone or to
answer it when ringing. I realize this is her stupid game again. I
never understood the rules but it's just another of her attempts to
put me in her back pocket when she fucks up with her bf again. She
wants that escape route again.

Anyway, regarding the email that caught my eye. She said that she was
sorry for not contacting me but there is a family emergency and she
will be busy with this for a few days. Of course I worry about the
kids and I guess I don't want harm coming to her so I finally replied
asking what is wrong and if the kids are alright.

I of course get the classic response which is none for awhile. After
awhile, I get an email saying "No, we are fine" which I presume means
the kids are ok. I try to get details and once again ask if it's her
parents but no reply to that question.

So I back up and realize she is playing her stupid games again or at
least is being classically very disrespectful and irresponsible with
the lack of acknowledgment from my emails. I dislike no replies when I
just sent a reply to an email originating from her. Again, this is how
she is. This is the type of respect she gives to people. Not just me,
but I noticed this from her even to her own family when she used to
get calls or emails. She looks at them and either don't pick up or
respond to emails. (Looking back, it could have been her boyfriend too
on some of those occasions but oh well) I've told her about this type
of behavior but if the person doesn't see it or care, then of course
they won't change their ways.

Whatever her family crisis was, she said nothing about having me watch
the kids or anything so she is either bullshitting me, her older kids
getting into trouble, or her bf fell ill. If the latter, then good. My
avenging angles have done what they always do for me. Hope her bf had
a heart attack and his face goes numb so he can start dribbling saliva
like a real nut job. Whatever it is, this is all the effort I will
spend and let it go.

Why so cruel? Well, I know it takes two to tangle but he did start a
relationship with a woman he knowingly saw was married. I don't know
what kind of a person would do that. I mean to knowingly realize that
you could be destroying the life of someone else you don't know.
Realizing that there may be kids involved and your actions may cause
the their lives to be upended with long lasting permanent damage to
the children's well being is so fucking selfish if you ask me.

Hey, beautiful woman are always nice to look at. Now that I'm alone
again, I keep my eyes peeled for any new potential friends. However,
as soon as I see that wedding ring, I stop and don't go any further.
That how it should be. I see beyond the pretty face. I see the married
man behind that pretty face who is probably working hard to support
his family and the possible kids that depends on the two parents. Why
is that so fucking hard for people to see nowadays?

Is that logic too old? Morals just gone out the window? I'm no angel
but WTF? Am I alone in these thoughts?

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