Hailey

The Cutting Diary
2010-11-27 06:48:25 (UTC)

Cojones (Fuck Yes)

November 27th, 12:28 AM

I love Bridgette, I really do. She is one of my best friends. But
she just has no idea.

It's not her fault, it's not like I've told her I cut. I'll honestly
probably never tell her. I only told Melissa because I had to tell
someone, and I knew Melissa wouldn't do anything about it (which is
exactly what I wanted, don't get me wrong). But, bless her heart,
she just doesn't get it.

She is trying her damnedest to get me more open to dating or what the
fuck ever. She is trying to make me more normal so we can have
giggly girl talk time, and I understand why she wants it. Melissa is
dating, and Bridgette wants a guy, but I get really bored really
fast over boy talk.

And now she is trying to talk me into, "holding back" I guess you
could say, so I don't scare potential men off. Let them get small
doses of my apathy and cynicism.

But she doesn't know.

She doesn't know that the cuts on my body would either scare away
any guy, or he would try to "fix" me, which means I would get fed up
with him really quickly. So whats to point of holding back if it's
only gonna end in disaster? If some poor bastard likes me at full
face value, then that man will have a huge set of cojones, and will
probably take the cutting a little bit better.

And I'm okay with this fact. I'm okay knowing it's gonna talk a long
ass time to find a guy that will be able to handle me. But Bridgette
isn't, God bless her.




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