I drink Alone
Josiah was born August 4th. He was scheduled for c-section on Aug
13. Joe was excited cause it was going to be a Friday the 13th baby,
but Josiah had other plans. I woke up and knew instantly what was
going on, it was a little harder to get Joe up. He thought I was
trying to tell him there were spiders in the bed, he flipped the
light on and was beating the bed down before I could explain. It was
3 in the morning and the first thing I did was call Mom. Dad came to
pick Hayden up. Mom said I could probably just wait at home till
closer to morning time, since the Doctor wouldn't come in till six
or seven anyways. I hadn't gotten out of bed yet and thought that
might be a good idea. But when I got up to go shower (cause I'm
weird like that) there was a lot of pain and I knew there was no way
I was going to wait around. I've had 3 c-sections and the fear of
having a baby naturally was huge. No way was that happening.
We got to the hospital and into a room about 4 AM. The nurses were
infuriating with their stupid "Are you sure your water broke"
questions and attitude. I got all laced and hooked up, they verifyed
I was not just being paranoid and that all that fluid wasn't pee and
they went to call and let my Doctor know. The second nurse who was
still poking or pinching me said the Doctor probably wouldn't be in
and do the surgery for another couple hours. I was really annoyed
but at least I didn't have to have that catheter in yet. That was so
uncomfortable. The first nurse came flying back in the room and
started pushing buttons. She said the Doctor was coming in right
away and that they had to get me ready to go in to surgery right
away. It was a little scary, especially since this nurse was acting
annoyed by the fact. Like she had a million other things beside her
job she'd rather be doing.
I went into the OR a few minutes later. It was a little different
then the other times, I didn't get the catheter put in and have to
walk, they wheeled my whole bed to it. The nurses seemed pleased
with themselves we'd made it before the Doctor, they commented on
how they were all ready and where was he? The Doctor came in and
sounded pissy, but I assumed it was because he'd gotten up early. He
didn't even greet me which was a little strange because he's usually
a very out-going, friendly person that in the other surgeries made
it a point to make me feel comfortable. I was really happy that they
gave me the spinal then put the catheter in. I overheard them
talking about it and someone asked why they waited to insert those
now and another person said it was a new policy for customer
satisfaction. Assholes. Like it's that much of a big deal to reverse
rthe order a little bit so I'm not in pain. It's a really scary
thing to be under those huge lights and feel your body go totally
numb. I was really glad when Joe was allowed to come in.
I had known this one would take longer because I was getting my
tubes tied after, but it took a long time to get the baby out. I
learned later that because of scar tissue build up they couldn't get
the baby out. There was a lot of jerking and things were really
scary, then they pulled Josiah out. He came out screaming unlike all
the others who didn't scream till they were out and slapped. Joe
told me that there were bruises on the poor little guys side.
They wrapped him up and brought him up near my head so I could kiss
him. Then Joe went with the nurse and baby to the nursery.
It did take quite a bit longer to finish up. The doctor poked his
head over the curtain and told me they would be starting the tubal.
His whole attitude seemend changed, he was happy and joking again.
I went back to my room and waited. It was different this way from
last time because since I'd gone into labor so early none of my
family was there. I was so happy when Joe and Josiah came. It's a
little fuzzy, but I do remember Josiah knew instantly how to latch
on and eat. The first one I didn't have to fight with to nurse. Joe
told me the Doctor had come to see them in the nursery, he'd sat
down and explained why it had been so difficult. I think when I'd
complained after elise was born about all the pain inside the Doctor
had known there was major build up, but couldn't do anything because
of the 6 month wait and then I ran out of insurance.
But Josiah is here and healthy. He's 3 months old now and still
nursing. He smiles, laughs and reaches for me. The other's took to
him really well. THey love holding "Si-si" which is what the girls
call him. He's a little afraid of them because they aren't exactly
graceful, but he laughs when they play with him and adores Hayden. I
think his favorite person is probably Joe tho, he follows him with
his eyes whenever he's in the room and laughs the hardest for him.
We are all living in Houston now. That's quite a change and I'm
missing my support system. It was a really bad start, but things are
settling down now.