Ex finally called
Well, I guess the Ex realized I wasn't doing any more email games.
Screw that crap. After one email today, she finally called me on the
phone like a normal human psycho. lol..
Anyway, she asked about the kids. I told her that I wasn't in a
position to make a big decision like that yet. I love them but....
psycho just makes it too hard to deal with. We shall see. Told her I
needed time to decide.
Then she started talking about us. I tried to stay strong. She said
that she misses me and I told her she no longer has the right to tell
me this anymore. Not good for my mind and not good in general. Told
her that I wasn't playing that game anymore. I will not tolerate her
bouncing around from guy-to-guy. I don't want her coming around for a
fuck. She did that in the past and I told her I don't want and need
that from her so I told her not to even try it.
This is actually hard for me because I'm the one not getting any
affection when I say this and I'm the one with the blue balls.
However, I know that this is good from me in the long run. I cannot
fuel her crazy games by being a participant. I chose to stay away.
She said and asked things about us that went wrong and why this and
why that. I responded by telling her "What's the point? What do we
hope to accomplish by this now?" " These are things we suppose to
discuss during the events and not after when you have left for another
Pretty much kept it civil.
I thought long and hard and finally called her later to talk to her.
She of course didn't pick up so I sent her a goodbye email.
Pretty much calmly told her I understand we have parted ways. I also
don't want to receive anymore emails from her for the rest of the year
while I contemplate my future.
I told her that I have finally let her go. She is no longer my soul
mate and that my moral obligations to her is no longer going to be
kept. I now will be open to future friendships and romances if they
ever come my way.
In general, I told her in the nicest way that I ain't waiting for her
and don't want her back. She is no longer sharing my bed now and in
I know, I know, I should have done this a long time ago. I already got
this from my friends so all I can say is I'm sorry. I guess when it
comes to having a life companion, I suck at it and don't learn my lesson.
Better late than never though.
So, here's to me! If there were new paths in life, I guess today would
be a special day for me. The day I finally let go of the madness from
I hope I made the right choice. It's so hard to make the right choices
when the right choices are for you and your heart is not always
following your brain.
I have a late get together with my social group. Going out to have
some wine, dinner and hopefully some good conversation. I've been all
doom and gloom lately so I need to bitch slap myself and shake that
shit off. lol