I got mind fucked again!!!
Sigh....... Had my little text conversation again with the Ex. I was
pretty much telling her I was contemplating a complete cutoff of this
crazy whacked bunch called family. Including separation from the kids.
Yes, I know this is selfish of me to do with the kids and all but I'm
really too damn tired of the bullshit. I really have to make a drastic
change in my life. Whatever I am doing is poisoning my heart, body
and soul. Really!!!
Anyway, after I told her this, she said she would tell the kids that I
didn't want them anymore and I didn't love them too. She claims it's
to make it easier for them. I told her, "So the lying continues to the
next generation?". Anyway, she tried to lay the guilt trip on me and
so I finally broke and said I would watch them this weekend.
We agreed that I would get them today after work. Well, she never
came. She's done this before. She never even bothered to call. She of
course didn't return any texts. I am sure she will say her phone was
broken or not charged again. This is typical of her. I don't
understand and don't care to understand what she does. This only
clarifies what I feel I need to do.
I was letting go. She tried to suck me back in. Then she ended up
doing what I said I would do anyway except she just fucked with my mind.
On a lighter note. I had my first date last Thursday. Nice lady.
Single Mom. Always speaks calmly to her child. We just had lunch and
chatted. The hour went by pretty quick.
I also got my dart machine and treadmill today. Finally got the last
pieces of my stuff all in one place. No more moving for awhile. I
still don't have cable installed at this place so my dart board will
come in handy.
Also, I am about 20 pounds overweight. So, I will try to see if I can
manage to run,walk, jog or crawl for about 10 miles a week. Gotta take
it nice and slow for now.