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2010-11-04 16:40:03 (UTC)

i don't know...

having a day where im feeling horrible and fat, personally i think
i've eaten too much cause matt made me eat lunch today and i don't
normally eat lunch so bit fed up about it, i wanna lose some weight,
even if its just a little bit, it makes me feel better about myself
if i know i can control what i do and don't eat.
but its weird cause i was talking to martin about the opposite last
night, we were talking about how because in may i, well you know,
that my emotions to be a mother are being redirected onto other
aspects, like harry my brother and grace my cousin (both under the
age of 2) and like cooking and doing more for my family,so even if i
was still pregnant now i'd be putting on weight? at home im trying
really hard to please parents even though to them its never enough,
matt my step dad, woke me up the other day and shouted that if i
don't start walking to school by 7:45 then he'll take my ipod and
phone again, i haven't done anything else wrong so why threaten to
take my things away from me? maybe hes expecting me to be completely
perfect, but im not perfect even though it seems like i have to be in
this bloody house..

ok now cause i got bored as hell last night....

A strong girl keeps everything in line,
and with tears streaming down her face, she still manages to say
"im fine"

nothing new to be seen,
just another pregnant teen,
everyones saying shes throwing her life away,
but she doesn't care what they say,
its nothing new,
her friend is pregnant too.

i'll never be good enough,
don't wanna lose you,
things are getting rough,
but i don't know what to do

he'll put me in my place,
red marks cover me,
make-up runs down my face,
he'll never let me break free

i must fit in,
got to be pretty,
got to be thin..

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