cachaemic

Lasta lalaithamin
2010-11-02 10:10:45 (UTC)

Wow. Why am i here again?

Wow. There's no one there. I wonder, does anyone notice when i'm not
there? Because there's no one. The person who's always there seems to
be avoiding me, he doesn't understand why even though I've told him.

He keeps calling me beautiful, but i just can't believe it. I can't
help but wonder if he only says it because he knows I need to hear it.
But clearly I don't need it that much, because I keep stuffing my
fucking face like the fat fucking cow I am. Not even a corset can make
me look good.
God.

I'm confused. I hate everything. I just want everything to go away.
right now I could quite happily live in the forest, totally alone and
love every minute of it. But I don't want to be like this.

Also, I just can't do anything right. Every single thing I do, whether
i try to help or just do what i normally do, it's wrong. I can't even
clean a fucking bathroom right. And yet it's still my job to make sure
everything's right. who the fuck figured that one out?

I don't want to. I don't want to any more. I just want to leave this
place, because it isn't getting any better any time soon. I just want
to fucking leave.

The blood flows bright red, and yet it's not enough. i need more.
There are bruises everywhere, and I can't help but try and get the
most pain out of them. I don't scar. there is no evidence. in some
ways that's good, but it just makes me cut harder.
Mmm, red is such a pretty colour.

Oh, Wow. there still isn't anyone there.




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