- s o u l

music's innovations .
2010-11-02 08:36:45 (UTC)

sleeper ?

"walking on eggshells or thin ice; i'm trying to safe a life here."


well got damn. i have to say.. i have too many guys. first the ex
sophomore, the ex senior, the senior with a girlfriend, a sweet
junior, and another senior. yeah, two more guys are added to this love
mix. could this be a shape? yes, the hexagon. from now on, this shall
be named the Hexagon Situation. i hate the hexagon situation. well,
more like the Pentagon Situation because the sophomore isn't talking
to me anymore. either way, i hate them both.

anyway, the junior added into the Pentagon Situation because he's been
talking to me about kissing a lot. and honestly, he's a sweet guy. he
can cook, his glasses make him look cute and his voice sounds funny
over the phone.. and he's never had a girlfriend. heh. well, he asked
me out that one time.. i had to say no because it was when that ex A
and ex B shit was going on, and i didn't know who to choose. and if i
added him to the mix, that would make it wayyy too difficult for my
little, fragile heart. yet congratulations, junior. you've made it to
the Pentagon Situation with all the other boys.

and the other senior? not the ex or one with the girlfriend. just the
senior.. but uh.. what can i say? he's hot! he doesn't go to my school
though. bummer. and.. he likes me. well, i kinda figured it out
indirectly. he told me he thought about kissing me. what do you guys
think that mean? exactly. that's how i interpreted it: as him liking
me. and besides.. it's not like i like him or anything.. pshhh.
pshhhhh. yeah right. ha.. ha. haha... but he's super hot!!

the other guys up there can go with another girl for all i care. and i
find my saying completely ironic since one of them already has a
girlfriend! and i think he knows that i know! what the fuck! so why
the hell is still trying to get me to send pictures? even his
signature says "jst the 2 of us" and that's ridiculous! how fuckin'
oblivious can you be? seriously? yet he texts me constantly.

and you know what i'n just now realizing?

i don't like any of these guys.

they're just here.. so i don't feel lonely.. all i want is attention.

man.. that's some deep shit.. but yeah.. the truth to myself, huh?
ha.. and none of them even TALK talk to me. the sophomore completely
ignores me, the ex senior just "side convo" me in the hallways, the
senior with a girlfriend gives me a quick hug then dashes off (& tries
to get me to have sex/send pictures), i never see the junior, and the
hot senior rarely talks to me and he doesn't even go to my school.
ugh.. fuck my life. all i'm going to be is miserable.

there is no more hexagon, pentagon, whatever the fuck this is. it's
just a circle. no, a line.. with no endpoints. it just continues
forever. an infinite line, am i.. the location is.. nihilistic.

my mood changed so fast.. from happiness (?) to this.. ugh. amazing
what realizations can do to people, yeah? yep..

guess i'll be a sleeper for today.. if i can go to sleep.

[ Sleeper BY: The Swellers ]




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