christina

miss christina
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2010-10-19 04:31:04 (UTC)

needs help

so i have come to the terms with my mental condition that i now know
that i have a problem with. i need help. thats all i can say. what i
dont understand is why do people get so upset when they try to help
you but you dont want thier help at that time?? so my "girl" tired
to help me for two months and i did not want it. i was not ready to
admit that i needed help that i need medication to function. and now
that i need help ya she is still around but throws it in my face so
to say that i ahd her and i did not take her help and now i hurt her
cause i was not on my meds. i fully understand where she is coming
from. but i dont know if she knows that it took alot for me to ask
for help. i am close to the edge and to just hear her tell me that i
hurt her and i had her and that we would not be where we are now if
i had been on my meds just pushes me far away. i dont want to hurt
her i need help but i dont know what to do. i am scared that they
will lock me up til they know what the problem is. im not going to
harm anyone or harm myself. so how do i tell her that i just need
her help and i dont need her to tell me what if i had asked for help
a long time ago....i dont know.. im so confused right now.. ill just
go get help and hope that she will be there to support me. i konw
she will be cause she cares and all but im just so low right now
that i dont want to go any lower cause she tells me what i did
wrong. does that make sense?? well i wish me best of luck and
hopefully they dont keep.. if they do.. its for the best right


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