ashwriter101

Journal of a Jedi Padawan
2010-10-12 03:42:51 (UTC)

If Thats The Worst You've Got, Put Your Fingers Back To The Keys!

"Hows it feeling, Alix," he asked me after a while.
"Really tight. And how is it for you," I asked him. It was our
typical 'how are you?' conversation. Of all the things we've said,
we've never said how are you. Only, how are you hanging on. And with
the tentacles, this was becoming a more frequent conversation. And it
usually didn't end well. "I'm beginning to wonder if squeezing is all
she can do," I mused to Lane telepathically.
"Really tight too, Alix. I cant move at all," he answered. Then
telepathically, he replied, "I think she has more in her locker, but I
dare not think about it. I hope Sylis and the droids are safe."
"I'm sure they are. Its Sylis I'm worried about. One noise from her
and they'll be found. Lane.... I'm sorry. After 3 or 4 times.... I'm
not as scared as she wants me to be. I'm sorry," I admitted
telepathically. I wasn't scared! And I knew it would get us killed.
"I know. I can feel it," he replied telepathically. There was no
anger, no fear, and no regret in his voice. It was toneless. Which
only made me feel worse.
An evil laugh interrupted our thoughts. "Time for the torcher to
begin," she seethed, smiling. She was getting a sick thrill out of
this. She walked around a little, her black cape flowing behind her
like a trail of evil darkness. Her black, skin tight, outfit seemed
even more menacing. She reminded me of a black widow. Or better yet,
snake. "You two WILL learn to be scared of me and not cross and what
happens when people do," she sneered. Of all the black she had on, her
eyes stood out the most. Crazy yellow rimmed with red. They were
always hard for me to look at, though I never understood why. If she
had normal eyes and a normal personality, I would envy her looks. But
I was a little too on edge to worry about my hair.
She slowly raised her hands at eye level and electricity surged
forward, catching Lane in the chest. The wind was knocked out of me
from sheer shock and fear for Lane. He fought it with everything he
could but the lightning was draining his strength. We were no longer
back to back and I wished I was there to help him. He groaned,
struggling to keep control. "You won't get away with this my sist-" he
was suddenly cut off with more lightning. He let a cry of pain escape
him.
I bit my lip hard and turned away, not wanting to look. I knew
because of the agreement, and promise I made, I couldn't help him. I
couldn't stop her. Only watch helplessly. I didn't have the strength
myself to watch his pain. My heart was torn and I drove my nails into
the palm of my fist in order to keep from fighting back or screaming
at her to stop. I was almost shaking in rage. It took all my strength
not to try to stop her. I was quickly thinking, wondering, "What do I
do! WHAT DO I DO?! I can't watch it anymore but I can't fight back!"
My mind raced with ideas but I forced even the best and most likely to
success idea out of my head, reminding myself I would not fight back.
After what seemed like forever, the lightning stopped. "Now, my
dear Alix, will you learn your lesson from your friend's suffering?" I
flintched at the sound of 'friends suffering'. "Or must I teach you
too?" The tentacles became tighter around me.
"Alix, I'm OK. Don't make her angry. She will make things worse for
you," and with that, Lane passed out from the pain still coursing his
body. I was already furious and hurt. I was ready to kill her on the
spot and bring an end to this once and for all! But Lane made me think
twice.
"Blaze," I cried, knowing he was out for a while. That I was on my
own, rage roaring, and our lives were in my hands once again. I
clenched my fists even tighter and looked down. I couldn't look at
her. I just couldn't. I had to control my anger so I wouldn't kill her
and I couldn't see her satisfaction in her eyes. I wasn't strong enough.
She came around to me, fear and anger got worse with every CLICK of
the heel of her boots. She stood in front of me. My heart pounded but
I refused to look at her. The Sith Queen grabbed my chin, digging her
nails into my skin, bringing my head up to where my eyes met hers.
"Look at me!" She screamed at me then she lowered her tone to a
mockingly sweet and purely evil tone. "Do you see what happens to
those who defy me?" I looked away. "DO YOU!? Lane will recover but
he's had to learn the hard way. Now, my dear, would you like the same
lesson? Or just the squeeze tightened?" She laughed an evil laugh that
would turn even fire into ice.
"Please, just stop," I begged her quietly. There was not much I
could do. I hated being weak and small but it was all I could do now.
"I will not stop. Make your choice, my dear, or you both will
suffer," she demanded. A cold realization slithered down my spine.
"I won't defy you," I gave in. "Squeeze." I looked down, defeated.
My heart broken, my spirit almost crushed, and my will tamed and torn.
I no longer felt like Alix. It was the satisfaction she had been
looking for. She got it.
"Good girl," she smirked. "Now, for your lesson." The tentacles got
tighter, squeezing just below my ribs but I couldn't breathe and I
couldn't speak and the pain was tremendous. An evil echo of a laugh
ripped through the room. I shut my eyes and tried to pull away from
the tenacle crushing me. Metal pinches too. "How do you feel NOW, my
dear Jedi scum?" Lane was slowly waking up.
"Ah! Its too tight," I cried, struggling to get the words out.
"Alix! Are you OK," he asked me. I shook my head. I had to force
tears back. Being helpless, being threatened, and watching Lane nearly
die and not being able to help, made me want to cry. I felt broken.
"No, I'm not," I answered honestly. "Do me a favor," I asked Lane
telepathically, but weakly. "Never make me agree to not fight back."
It was a simple request, but it held every truth I was feeling.
"Alix, with our ability numbed, and no lightsabers, we have no way
of fighting," he reasoned. I didn't care. I knew I could do something
without those. "The ewoks are on their way and will attack," he said
trying to give me hope. Oh Lane, hope was beyond me by now. The
tentacles began to carry me across the room. We were still talking
telepathically but I could hear him as if we were talking out loud.
"Everything in me, every lesson I learned, even Obi Wan told me to
do something," I almost yelled at him telepathically. Every part of me
wanted to fight back and make her stop and I know I could have.
"And plans went off in my head but I promised. What is it doing with
me now," I asked him carelessly. I didn't care anymore. I was tired of
it and wanted it to be over.
"OK, I'm wrong," he retorted in my head. It wasn't sarcasm, but I
knew he still believed he was right. I wasn't saying I was right or
wrong, just that I didn't want him to make me do that again. I didn't
want another fight between us. Just a promise he wouldn't do that
anymore. "But this is not the right time for us to argue, is it Alix?
We can debate after," he said firmly. I could tell he was a little
crossed at me. A lot actually. But he could be mad. We would just
fight after this was over. It happened before. The tentacles then
pinned me to the wall by my arms and legs. So many times this had
happened to me and I still wasn't used to it!
"Now, my dear, you will watch your friend be destroyed," she sneered.
I snapped and was finished with not fighting back. I was DONE being
her good girl. "Lane. NO!" AND STOP CALLING ME YOUR DEAR! I am not and
nor never will be, so SHUT UP! I am NOT your friend, your dear, your
apprentice! I am your enemy and call me a stupid Jedi or Jedi Scum, I
don't care! BUT LET LANE AND I GO AND SHUT UP! Oh how I longed to
scream this at her with a smile on my face. But I held my tongue. One
day I would say this to her. All of it. And hopefully slap her and
more! Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? But that day, wasn't today.
The tentacles tightened and one was still wrapped around my gut and it
squeezed.
"Now Lane, you will fight my deadliest creature. This will be your
end," she smiled. Man did I want to slap that smile off her face! A
person, even a Jedi, can only take so much. But theres a difference in
thinking it, rather than doing it. The tentacle dropped Lane and he
found a spare blaster. Mine. Gotta love a trusted blaster by your
side, huh? He was prepared to fight.
I trusted he knew what he was doing and that he could make it out.
I mean, come on, he's Lane!
A machine suddenly appears and blasted Lane into a wall. Good move.
The Sith Queen stood beside me, laughing like a little girl watching
her favorite TV show. "See, Alix? He is no match against me or my
forces." Don't slap the queen, don't slap the queen, don't slap the
queen, Don't slap the Sith Queen!
"Don't underestimate him," I warned her. "I have faith in you Lane.
Come on, this thing doesn't look too hard to beat," I called out to
him telepathically, giving him encouragement to get off the floor.
SURPRISE! Ewoks swung through the whole the Sith Queen had made,
crying their battle cry. Just in time, they launched their attack.
Lane aimed and blasted the machine to pieces. "This isn't over, Lane
and Alix. I will get you two, you know that. Its only a matter of
time," she said as she faded away. But I was still stuck.
"Lane over here," I called. He turned his attention to me.
"Alix, are you okay?" Why did I feel like another damsel in distress?
"I'm fine, are you," I asked, returning his concern.
"Fine. Don't move." He blasted the tentacles and caught me as I
fell. "Have you gotten your Force ability back, yet?"
"Slowly getting it, yes. Thanks, and Lane? It was my fault you were
shocked. I'm sorry." I couldn't meet his eyes from sheer shame.
"Its okay. Don't worry about it," he smiled reassuringly. How could
he blow it off so easily as if it never happened?! Lane opened the
door to the safe room and Sylis was the first one out. "Looks like
Sylis is pleased to see you. Well, Ewoks, nicely timed attack," he
said. I was still feeling a little bad for the whole thing so I kind
of sunk to the back of the interest and only spoke a thanks, really.
Sylis chattered happily though, jumping from Lane to me then sat on
my shoulder. I laughed a little, letting her energy and joy become
mine. "Yes, I know you were scared Sylis. Its okay now. We're safe," I
smiled at her and pet her. She purred at my hand. I turned to the
Ewoks. "Perfect timing. Good job."
"We aim to please. Lane sent us a warning shortly before we lost
contact with your base," one explained. I nodded my thanks and glanced
over to Lane.
"Hey, little one, good to see you," he smiled petting the
chattering ball of furry energy on my shoulder. Little one was his
nickname for her. "And R7 and R9 good to see you too. R7, I hope you
did what you were meant to do," Lane looked at R7. I didn't understand
the inside order so I stayed out of it. The base began to activate
repairs and it was soon secure again. "Now, I feel better. Well, I
must say, Alix, that was a very close call! And I think she will
strike again but not for a while." How could he brush it off?
"Lane was smart to get to you then," I smiled and nodded a
respectful thanks. R9 was still sulking but was glad to see Lane and
I, safe. "Yeah, it was close. The base activated quickly."
I stared at the scanner to my right. I couldn't believe how he
could just shrug it off the way he was doing. I didn't understand how
I felt. Angry? At the Sith Queen, defiantly. At Lane, sort of, for
making me promise. Scared? Sort of, from being so helpless. Confused,
yeah. How did she get in? Sad? Yes, I let Lane down more than once.
Tired, very. I just felt so distant and wanting to be so close.
"Sylis seems to be very excited. Whats wrong, Alix? You seem to be
staring at the scanner," Lane prodded gently. I snapped from my trance
and looked up quickly.
"Oh, huh? Its nothing," I shrugged it off.
"I sense something is bothering you Alix. Tell me about it?" Lane
prodded but was concerned but still happy and perky. I think he hit
his head on the wall or something! R7 spun around in a circle beeping
and whistling, happy to see me. To see us. Maybe they both hit their
heads! "Sylis come get some fruit," Lane ordered in a sing-songy sweet
voice.
"No its nothing. Don't worry about it for now," I shrugged it off
more persistently. Sylis gave Lane a look that said, "REALLY!?
Fruit!!!" And she glided over and nearly attacked him for the fruit in
his hand.
"Here you go, Sylis. Tuck into this bit of fruit." She did as he
commanded without any second thought. She dove into the fruit,
nibbling quickly, and chattering rapidly, thanking Lane. "Okay, well,
Ewoks, if you head back to the village, we will drop by in a bit." The
Ewoks nodded and left to the village. I always noticed he addressed
them by looks or species and not by name. "I think that will be a
pleasant way to relax for a while," he smiled turning to me.
"I think so too," I nodded.
He asked R9 and R7 if they wanted to come. He chuckled and pet
Sylis on my shoulder, finishing the last of the fruit. "Your welcome,
little one." It wasn't attachment, or passion in his voice. It wasn't
compassion either. It was a faint glimmer of love for Sylis. He
quickly changed his tone, catching it too. "Have some more fruit.
Theres plenty to go around." I was going to object and say that she
wont be so little if she keeps eating like that. But, why not let them
have their fun for now, right? "I am so sore from that lightning," he
groaned. "I wonder why she decided to up her plan a bit, because I
thought to only make us suffer fear for a while. This was just an
increased attack, AND she tried to destroy me!" And there was the
shaken Lane I knew before.
Guilt stirred in me again. I bit my lip and looked away. "Yeah, I
wonder why. I'm happy the Ewoks came when they did. And it was fear.
Fear of death for you, and fear of loosing you for me." I finally said
what was on my mind as I eased Lane's soreness. "Can't do much about
the burns though," I shrugged. I wasn't that good yet. R9 wanted to
come with us and as soon as Sylis was done, she found a string on
Lane's shirt that she thought was the nest wonder of the universe. She
was easily entertained.
"You like that string, do you little one," Lane smiled. "She would
have failed to have killed me, Alix. I felt it when I slammed into the
wall, she was holding back for some reason. The lightning was just to
make me suffer, but for some reason, she didn't want to do it. Like
with you, she would never normally do what she did with you. Normally
she would have just zapped you and that be the end of it." Great happy
thought, Lane. "I'm slightly confused as to whats going on. OK R9. Are
you coming R7?" R7 bleeped in response.
Sylis cooed and swung the string back and forth. I giggled at her
entertainment. "I guess thats a yes. And I know. I noticed it too but
I didn't want to make her upset. So why did she hold back the way she
did? And you know... I hate to point this out to you but... she
managed her way into one of your bases. You said it would be the
safest. That only shows her determination. Why is the only question I
can't answer. And what? No argument that I did the wrong thing? No
scolding for breaking at the end? No logical explanation as to why she
did that? Okay then," I was shocked.
It turned out the security system wasn't working. Oops. "There is
no need for me to lecture you. It wouldn't help, believe me Alix."
Yay, no punishment for me. "What is she up to, I must know. Guess we
better head to the Ewoks. Are you coming little one?"
Sylis' ears perked up at the sound of Ewok. She tilted her head and
chirped, eager to be outside and to see them. "That would explain it.
It will reveal its self soon enough. And I guess we should," I replied
to him.
"She is so very cute!" Again, he was a puddle. And so was I when it
came to her. "I'm guessing she is very excited about this visit.
Wouldn't you say, Alix?"
Sylis chased her tail in a circle on the floor, chirping eagerly as
if saying "COME ON! Lets go lets go lets go!"
I teased her by threatening to leave her here. She cooed at me a
look that said it wasn't fair. "I'm kidding. Come on, Sylis. We'd
better not keep her waiting," I warned Lane smiling.
We were quickly in the speeder, zooming off to see the Ewoks. I
held Sylis, R9 and R7 were in a cart beside us, and Lane was driving.
He expected a feast when we got there. I didn't know how long it had
been since I'd eaten, and I was starving. But Sylis hated the speeder.
Well, thats what happened today. May the Force be with you!




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