Experienced Life
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2010-10-07 16:26:21 (UTC)

Had the kids for a few weeks

I had the 5 and 8 yr old for a few weeks. We had lots of fun. I spent
every minute I could with them. I knew the winds would change
direction at anytime.

Anyway, today may be that day. I think the ex was just using them to
try to get me to go back with her. When she saw that it was working,
she took the kids. I hate people that use kids as pawns.

The kids love me and I love them. There isn't a day that went by that
they didn't tell me multiple times that they loved me. I guess they
too at their young age knew that this may not last and we sort of
shared our few moments together.

I'm running solo again in this home. I haven't taken on in awhile but
this might be a perfect night to just order out for pizza, drink a
bottle of wine and take a percocet pill or two.

Screw this crap. Why do I feel like I'm always battling just to have a
normal life? Whatever... I know a time not too long ago that I was
dying to live. Now I'm back to living to die.

There I go.. feeling sorry for my sorry ass again. I keep trying to
grow some but certain people just seem to be able to fuck my up just
right. Sigh.......

Hope my diary friend from Michigan is doing better.

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