ohshietitzruby

Ruby
2010-10-05 06:44:54 (UTC)

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Today's been a very long day. But the highlight of my day was a fight
with my family members. I feel very alone and very just isolated I
mean after all I have no one to talk to except my boyfriend, sometimes
i feel like he's the only one that ares about me sometimes. Well it
all started with me talking to my brother... normally i pick on him
but not to the point where i make him cry or anything just to bug him
a little bit. Well today my mom made enchiladas verdes which are my
favorite! but my brother is really picky and normally doesn't eat what
my mom makes. He was looking inside the refrigerator for something to
eat, clearly there was a lot of enchiladas on the counter so I
politely asked him why he didn't want to eat anything that my mom
cooked and he told me that it was his life and that he could do
whatever he wanted to do. So i just left it there but he was going to
eat a luncheable i automatically thought that was unhealthy. Keep in
mind that my brother is a slightly larger guy. he's 9 years old,
almost 4'11" and a little chunky for a boy his age. Well i basically
started talking to him about our financial situation and how we don't
have that much money to be giving him food that isin't always going to
be available. Normally I would of shouted but i didn't to that this
time because I know that this is a really touchy subject between my
brother and I. I also want to let you know that my parent's are
divorced and my dad is hardly around. I'm the oldest in the family so
I have some responsiblities at times that requires me to talk to my
siblings. Well... it really doesn't require me to talk to my siblings
but I want them to grow up with some kind of advice from their older
sister. Well i was talking to my brother in a normal tone, I didin't
think there were any hard tones in my voice or anything. But then my
grandma started butting into the conversation telling me that I
always had to be picking on my brother and that I was always being
mean to him and putting him down. Keep in mind that my tone was
relaxed I wasn't being rude or anything. So i just ignored my grandma
but it seemed the more I ignored her the louder she got to bother me
on purpose. She told me that I should just let my parents take care of
my brother and i got mad because she told me that she was basically
telling me that it was none of my bussiness to be giving him advice or
anything. So i got mad because I mean I don't have a dad. He never
comes around and for her to say that hurt me so much so I told her
fine if my parents should give him advice then why don't they ever
talk to him!? Where is my dad?? huh?! then one thing lead to another
and then my uncle butts into the situation and starts screaming at me
for screaming at my mom. Pretty soon i get even more mad because he
was screaming at me and the conversation didin't even come into his
name or anything... But whatever i'm pretty mad still and hurt
specially because my mom didin't even care. She didin't care that I
was there sitting trying to eat and trying to give my brother advice
on how to take care of himself better. I guess this is what I get for
giving someone else advice... fuck life. Now I know why so many people
actually follow up on that quote.
Fuck life. Fuck everyone. Fuck love. Fuck Family. It turns out it's
just all bullshit.


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