mandab03

Letters to You
2010-09-30 23:43:19 (UTC)

Dear Anthony,

I started using this online dating site. And this guy has been
messaging me, he gave me his number. He sounded just like you. The
things he said made me stop and remember who I was talking to. He
even sorta looks like you. He wants to meet me. And meeting him is
the fartherest thing from my mind. I'll just be thinking about you.
I mean the moment after having sex with this guy I started thinking
about you. How sex would have been better with you. How it should
have been you. I though having sex would help me get over you, it
didnt. I don't understand why my heart won't let you go.. I'm tired
of feeling this hopelessness. I want my life back. I want to be able
to talk to other guys and not be reminded of you the whole time. I
want to be able to love someone the way I know I can. And you've
taken that from me.. The sad part is you don't even know it. You have
no idea the effect you have on me...You never will.
The only thing I want in life is for you to be happy. And if that
means you falling in love, marrying, and having kids with someones
else, then okay. The day I hear that your getting married will be a
bitter sweet day for me. I'll be devasted but as long as your happy..
I've actually thought about crashing your future wedding and asking
you if that is what you really wanted. And if you could look me in
the eye and say that you have never think of me and don't love me at
all anymore, I would leave and that would be it.
I hope that I do sometime cross your mind. I hope that you do still
have feelings for me. And I hope one day I get a chance to talk to
you about all this.

-Manda




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