Chance Wrobel

Thoughts from a fuckup
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2010-09-25 07:06:46 (UTC)

I saw this coming..

Today this morning, started great... I knew something was
completely wrong by 3rd period. No texts back, and I had a
feeling someone got arrested and it was going to completely
fuck over our relationship. I guess I was right, I hate it
when I am right.. I hate it when I get feelings like that ..
because then I know I am right. Those feelings are never
good. I love her so much, and I always will and everything I
said was completely true. Through all of it, now I can just
hope that we are still friends. I know that usually after a
breakup it just doesn't work anymore.. any of it. I am so
sad yet, I knew it was going to happen.. I have known it
wasnt going to work for a while.. long distance
relationships never do and I knew that the age difference
would ultimately fuck things up.. I fucking knew this would
happen.. I just dont know how to react, should I be sad? or
angry? or hopeful? or should I keep trying.. or should I be
happy? I dont see how happiness even exsists anymore.. but I
just need time to reset my mind. I am not going to go
completely emo like my track record says I will. I really
don't want to fall back into that road. I am so hopelessly
fucked. I guess now I can look for someone else, miserably
failing everytime. I know I won't ever stop loving her, and
I am pretty sure I wont ever stop liking her.. I just have
no idea right now. I guess, I knew and I should have done
something about it.. but there isnt much i could have done..
The night staring into the stars was the most amazing night
of my life. I just knew, or atleast thought I did that I was
in a relationship with the most amazing girl ever and it
would never end. I always knew it would, but atleast I had
hope.. but now. I just don't know anymore. I'm not
completely dead... I feel like I am clinically dead and the
music is keeping me alive.. but when the music stops. So
does my heart.

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