my thoughts

My Journey
2010-09-21 04:35:01 (UTC)

feeling irritated

Okay, so its Monday night. Or should I say early Tuesday
morning since it is a little after midnight now?

Anyway, what a lousy Monday it has been. Then again, how
many Mondays are so great anyway? Hubby was home, again,
today. What does it take to get a day to myself around
here ? I had to listen to him moan and groan ALL DAY
about what is he going to about his back. I know he gets
pissed at me for not being as sympathetic as he thinks I
should be, but what am I supposed to do for him? I'm not a
doctor. I've told him he needs to go to the doctor, and
when he tells me, for the 100th time, that he is not going
to be cut on, I tell him that maybe he needs to do what I
am doing and go to therapy. Of course then he says he
can't afford it, can't take off from work. And he thinks
I can afford it? Hell, I'm still fighting with my
disability through work. Got off the phone with them
today and was told that they needed to get my lastest
reports from my docs and a statement from them that says
they have not released me to go back to work. Umm, don't
you think they should have done this 4 MONTHS AGO?? I was
told that when I get my benefits it will be a little
different, I will get one check a month instead of once a
week. I asked about the past four months that I've yet to
receive anything. I was told I will receive a backpay
check for that. Wish they would get with it, this sucks
not having any money, and it is a benefit that has been
paid for each month. Anyone who has to deal with the
short and long term disability insurance companies through
their employers better hope they never have to use it.
Its like trying to pull horses teeth. Most days I feel
like saying screw it, I'm going back. But I can't do that
when my doc hasn't released me to do so.

Didn't hear from my daughter today. Most times it really
bothers and hurts me, but I must be getting used to it
because I wasn't as upset as I usually get. Or maybe my
meds just happpen to be kicked in today, I don't know.
She called me yesterday wanting me to come up to her
apartment and have dinner tonight. She said she was
getting her hair done after school and then would call
me. Did I hear from her?? nope. Yes, she could have
least called me and said she changed her mind. Oh well.
Whatever. I'm going to stop depending on her.

And he-who-is-an-ass didn't bother emailing me today
either. Must be something in the air today. Must have
been "walk on me" day. What the hell ever. My sleeping
pill must have kicked in, lol. Nothing is really seeming
to bother me at the moment. Not sure why it didn't really
bother me earlier today. I think maybe it was because I
ignored hubby's whining and tried really hard to focus on
whatever I have been doing today.

So, thats how my boring day has been today. Not really
much to write about, but I'm trying to get back in the
habit of writing daily. Not sure why, but oh well. The
rest of the week is going to be a little busier, I've got
physical therapy tomorrow, Thurs and Fri, doctor appt on
Wed and regular therapy on Thur. At least I found my tens
unit today. Got to go throw some stuff in the dryer and
then off to bed, sleeping pill has kicked in. until later..




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