Hope, Lies, and Magick
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I've only been fifteen for three days and the world
seems to be crashing on my head.
Daddy's been lecturing me on cars. He's giving me
Chris's old green Taurus for free, as long as I pay for
gas and insurance. I don't even understand how insurance
works or anything, and I've never pumped gas. I don't know
how to drive a car either, but Daddy says he'll teach me.
I checked in and I'm legally allowed to take driving
lessons now; I was allowed the instant I turned fifteen.
I'm excited for my first car, and I wonder what it'll be
like when I first get in it. I'll have bought seat covers
and an iPod player and some of that car freshener. I'll
have papers and napkins in the glove box, and get Wil to
clean the carpet so it's nice. If there's any mechanical
problems I'll pay Faverty the auto teacher at my school to
take a look at it.
I'll take the car and get my own slurpees, my own
everything with my job money.
Which brings me to the next segment- jobs. I'm so hoping
for that job at Petco I can hardly stand it. I promise to
work hard and earn as much as I can to go toward my car
insurance and some splurging money. I've been checking my
email ever since I applied and I haven't got a word back.
The thing says wait a month but I simply can't! I've got
to get a job soon or I'll explode! I need money; I'm so
worried about Christmas and all the turns that come after.
I want to be prestine Aunt Katie, always with the perfect
hair and make-up, always taking her nephew for McDonald's
trips when he's down, arriving at Christmas with the
largest box from the storage she could get. Oh, I want
that to be me!
Please, Petco. I'm so worried; I'm only fifteen with
barely any work experience. Even though I've owned a
surplus of pets they're probably not hiring, and even if
they are they wouldn't want a three-hours-a-day
inexperenced little girl.
But Petco, please please, I'd benefit your business, I'd
stock with smiles on my face, I'd hold down big dogs while
you check out their teeth, I'll nurse the sick chinchilla
with pride, I'll feed those fish, I'll do anything,
anything, just please hire me. I got my papers from the
Counseling Office and everything. I'm bouncy, bubbly, and
colorful, I'm outgoing and helpful, I know all about
animals, I'm a shining student and President of Operation
Beautiful, please please, I'm an amazing babysitter, I'm
I've been considering volunteering at the library as of
late. Even though they don't pay you get recommendation
letters and- GASP- refrences for jobs! Plus it's pretty
easy. You just shelve books. If I can keep my cool for a
whole month, and obviously apply at other stores that I
thought of- Goldenspoon, Rite Aid, or KFC, I'll be able to
pull up my grades in the process of the long tedious wait.
PETCO FUCKING CALL ME.
Operation Beautiful's first meeting is tomorrow, in
other news. I have a powerpoint featuring Zoolander and
other weird crap, and I hope I don't pull that I'm-Trying-
To-Be-Funny-But-It's-Just-Pathetic thing, even though most
of the people attending are my friends. Andrew's not
coming, I've seen to that. If I die, I die without my
honey there to watch.
Today Andrew and I were cuddling in the quad; I looked
up and happened to see that Damian was staring down at us.
Rumor has it that he and his girlfriend broke up, but
that's not what his Facebook status says. Anyway it
doesn't matter, I'm an adult now, I've already gotten
invovled in a job, car, car insurence, gas, and I need to
open up a bank account.
It's just weird because only four days ago I never gave
ANY of these things a second thought.
Lots of Love,