Chance Wrobel

Thoughts from a fuckup
2010-09-16 08:45:33 (UTC)

Falling harder each day...

I love her so much... I can't seem to figure out how
or why or anything... but I do and I always will. She is the
most amazing girl ever, its like I can talk for hours
without having to worry about a single thing. I can tell her
anything without having to worry about what she will say. I
swear she takes the words out of my mouth before I even say
them. I don't care about age, or even looks. I guess karma
decided to be nice this time.. I just can't stop thinking
about her and it is an amazing feeling to have sitting right
there on the surface of my mind all the time. I just can't
stand all the emotion that is flooding into me nowadays. The
past week has been a great experience and one that I will
never forget. Most people just get freaked out by my jokes
and people just don't understand me and she does... the most
amazing thing and we have so much in common I swear she is
related to me... oh god.. please dont be lol... I only write
for release and it is usually to calm down but now it is
just because I need to release some of this love I have...
she isn't awake to listen to me constantly tell her I love
her. So I write about it, I have already started drawing
again, and I am just sooooo fucking happy. Last night in the
grass staring at the moon and the stars just talking to her
was the most peaceful time I have had since I can remember.
The fact that simply her voice calms me down and makes me
realize how lucky I really am.. I am in love. I just wish
that she was closer to me so I could hold her and kiss her
all night until she fell asleep in my arms. Closing the
distance would be all I needed to have my life be complete.
I don't know what I did, but thank you karma for making me
meet the girl of my dreams so young.. I am just so in love,
and I don't even have to guard anything from her. She is
just there and I can tell her anything... I love this
feeling but I hate the distance.. I love the fire that burns
between us, but I hate the land and sea that seperates us
from eachother, maybe it is a good thing. I personally know
myself well enough that if she was here, I would lose
control of my hormones and love every second of it.. but I
still can't stand having her be so far away. I just want
that physical contact and I want to be able to hold her
close to me for hours and never let go.. I wish I could tell
her I love her to her face. It would mean so much more... I
have no idea what I am supposed to even do with all this
emotion. I truly do believe that this will last forever,
usually I am the one that says relationships dont last when
you are young.. and look where I am now. God I love it but
it is so ironic.. I am so in love my heart has a weightless
feeling anytime I think about her and I love it.. I am
afraid I am going to die because my heart skips a beat every
time she laughs every time she says those 3 simple words.. I
am just so happily flustered and I have no desire to do
anything but talk to her all day and all night.
Unfortuantely I cant just ignore all of my family for her..
although I wish I could. I have never meet anyone that gets
me as much as she does, no one at all.. I just want to kiss
her and know that she will never leave my life.. I can't
even begin to think about life without her. I don't know how
I ever got along without her. I am just so complexly in love
with a gorgeous 17 year old girl that happens to be the most
amazing girl ever. I am so lucky and I can't even begin to
fathom how lucky I am or what I possibly did to deserve her.
"I know I'm not the only one for you, but your the only one
for me"... I am so happy and so flustered at the same time.
I just can't stand to not talk to her for even a single day.
My life is her, and my world revolves around her. I just
can't stand the fact that I can't touch her... I want her to
be within arms reach at all times.. but it just isn't
possible. Atleast not for now.. I could keep going for hours
about how amazing she is and how much I love her.. but I
won't because my fingers hurt and my mind is slowly starting
to slow down. I love Lauren Michaela Way with all of my
heart and with every ounce of my being I want her to be as
happy as possible at all times.. There just isn't alot I can
do. I am happy now though. I couldn't be happier infact.