synderella

Life with a Paddler
2010-09-15 19:56:50 (UTC)

09/15/10

Although similar in many ways, jealousy and envy are not
the same. Deep insecurities often lie at the root of
jealousy. When someone is jealous they are afraid of
losing something. They try to guard and protect what they
fear losing. In doing so, they may become very possessive,
competitive, and resentful. For example, they might be
jealous of someone they fear can steal their boyfriend’s
heart away from them; someone who got the promotion they
worked hard for; or the person who got the praise and
adoration they felt they deserved.

Jealousy can be fear of losing any of the following:
Love immediately challenges me to break the fixation I
have with myself. ~John Powell, S.J.
Comparing ourselves with others often causes us to feel
superior or inferior to them.

self-respect and respect of others

love and affection

a cherished relationship

position or promotion

a desired opportunity

a valued material possessio

attention and admiration

confidence and self-worth

Envy also includes feelings of resentment, but it is
rooted in discontent rather than fear. Feelings of
dissatisfaction can cause a person to become envious of
those who have what they believe they need to satisfy or
fulfill them. So they desire the possessions or qualities
of another. It could be their appearance, popularity,
job, home, reputation, lifestyle, health, experience, and
so forth. Just as with jealousy, the envy they experience
can cause them to become angry and bitter.

Jealousy can turn into envy and envy can turn into
jealousy. Both can be experienced together, and both are
potentially destructive. They can ruin relationships and
aspirations and make you miserable. They can keep you
from trusting others and feeling secure about yourself.
They can prevent you from being happy for someone when
they get ahead or succeed. Jealousy and envy are common
experiences known to all people. Even the most loving
people are jealous or envious sometimes. But they do not
have to rob you of love in your life. Security can
replace the fear that fuels jealousy, and contentment can
replace the discontent that stirs envy.




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