My life.
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2010-09-02 21:22:17 (UTC)

September 2, 2010.

Dear Whoever,

I’ve never felt this bad before. It’s the first day of
grade eight. I should feel happy to see all my friends again
right? I felt the complete opposite actually. I’ve never
wanted to be alone so much before, I’ve never been more
unlike myself. I just wanted to hide. I don’t even want to
go back tomorrow, but I’ll have to, my mom will get
suspicious, and ask me if anything happened that I don’t
want to go to school. Nothing happened at school. Actually,
I don’t really know what happened to make me feel this way,
I guess it started last summer when my mom was diagnosed
with breast cancer, and it’s just more noticeable in my
behavior now I guess. I don’t know how to explain the way I
feel to anyone, No one is the right person to tell. Maybe
I’m crazy? Maybe I’m messed up? Maybe I’m confused… or maybe
I’m all of those things.
I wish I wasn’t like this. My friends know something is
wrong, but I don’t have the slightest clue how to explain it
to them... I can’t even explain it to myself. There’s
something wrong with me. I don’t sleep; it makes me sick to
eat. And then on top of that there’s school, that means
homework, and I feel like it’ll be too much. Plus the
simplest thing sets me off, so it’ll be easy for friends to
get mad at me or pissed off.


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