Me Complicated
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2010-09-01 17:55:59 (UTC)

Way back when.....

well here I am in my 30s and still trying to find me. I was
so shy when I was younger. I blame my mom because she was
so overly protective of me. I didnt know how to speak up
for myself then and now I dont give a fuck! You dont like
what I say then get out of my face. that's my attitude and
it sometimes back fires....oopps.
Never knew my real dad. I didn't even know my "dad" the man
who raised me wasnt my real dad till I was 18 and that put
a whole twist on everything for me. I kept trying to
figure out who I am, who did I get the other half of my dna
from. still dont know much about him but his name. heard he
was a herion addict and my mom just took me and ran. I
thank her for that though for putting me and our safety
first. but it would of been good to know what my other half
so when I became old enough i moved out and was sheltered
by my man back then. not in a bad way but I didnt really
know what I was missing in life until we broke up. in my
mid twenties I had a ball!!!!
got fucked up, met some really cool people and some really
bad too. fell in love more than once, had alot of heartache
but i wouldn't change any of it! it has made me who i am
today. I am stronger but still so weak in certain areas
such as my heart.
so i needed this diary. i needed it to get everything out.
to just say what i'm feeling about whatever i wanted. i
have things that make me happy, sad, drive me crazy and
things that haunt me. and now here i am. spilling my
emotions out on this screen. and believe it or not it
actually makes me feel somewhat better.....
i cant wait to continue the story of my life and then look
back and read what i wrote to see if i have grown at all.

till the next entry..........

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