Jules420

The Adventures of Jules Santana
2010-08-27 12:22:42 (UTC)

Drink, drink, drink…Take it to the Head!

So about 6 months ago, I was deep in to this divorce and
stressed out with my parents and my life, I was having
issues dealing with the new developments of my dad moving
in with another woman, fighting my mother about money,
though he’s the one with a million dollar condo, hearing
my mother talk about how much hurt my father has done to
her, and well, I did confide in Luke (though he’s good to
listen but he likes to play devil’s advocate a little bit
too much for my tastes, so I would wind up screaming at
him lol). So I went back to my most old and trusted
friend that has gotten me through many a situation…vodka.
I was drinking every single day. And I’m not talking
about “2 glasses of wine a day is good for the heart” type
of drinking…I mean I was drinking shots of vodka, shots of
tequila, dirty martinis, all of that, beers that were 9.5%
ABV. I mean it was the only thing that I could do to try
to get me through. At some point, I remember drinking and
getting myself totally wasted and thinking that I needed
rehab. I told Luke a couple of times that I was sure I
was developing a drinking problem and he thought I was
just being dramatic. But it wasn’t, I would wake up in
the morning, sit in the living room watching the news
before I went to work and I would see a beer bottle on the
table and all I could think of doing was drinking another
one before work. I would get to work and I would sit at my
desk and start planning what booze I was going to drink
once I got home. I was going to the liquor store so much
that the folks working would practically give me a high-
five when I walked in. It was bad. Luckily, my liver
didn’t fail…at least not yet, but we’ll find out after my
physical on Monday (lol) but somehow I managed to get back
to a normal drinking place. I swear, to this day, I still
look back and realize that I was hungover 4 out of 5 work
days and then when I would wake up on Saturday, I would be
drinking a hard drink, usually like vodka and grapefruit
juice, at 9am!!! But it got me through, and sometimes in
life, you gotta do what you gotta do. I did consider going
to a therapist and all, but talking about the issues
would’ve helped, but I was worried that I would be put on
some type of depression or anxiety medication and well, we
all know I wouldn’t have stopped drinking while on the
drugs so I passed. I mean don’t get me wrong, sometimes a
xanax and a martini get me feeling really good, but 4
xanax and 4 martinis would’ve been my style and honestly,
the thought of living like that makes me feel like Anna
Nicole Smith (RIP). In any case, I’ve triumphed over that
craziness. Now I’m just getting my head together so that
I can be ready to head down to the beach tomorrow with
Jo. Ugh, there are some stories about Jo (who is a woman)
and it’s way too much to just plop down in this entry.
With that said, let me send a shout out to my diary-dog…
Erykah…whattup lady!




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