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2010-08-23 06:49:02 (UTC)

Very Tired

Not really sure what to write. I'm pretty alone. Not
technically...but I feel that way a lot. I have two kids
and a boyfriend but no real friends. I pretty much stopped
having those when I had kids. Having kids made me have a
much closer relationship with my mother which I have
always wanted, so I guess I'm glad about that. I love my
two girls to pieces...they are everything to me. Spending
all day with them is great but they are really young and
some adult convo would be apprecaited. It has made me
really appreciate how my mom stayed home with me and my

I feel bored often... with myself and my relationship.
It's not too exciting really...we don't do much. I keep
waiting for "something" to happen...just not really sure
what that something is. It seems like I'm running out of
things to say to him. My days are not exciting... I'm
stuck at home all day. Literally stuck...his car died so
he takes mine to work everyday.

I've found myself wandering around my house...which is big
by no means...wondering what i should be doing with
myself. I'm a mother, I know. I take that role very
seriously. I've put them ahead of me in a way I didn't
know was possible, but I have forgotten about me. Where
have I gone? It's like I have no personality...I'm just a
robot.I'm not emotionless but every day seems like a
repeat... Is the rest of my life going to be this way???

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