ColorMeRed

It is me. Just me.
2010-08-22 04:36:50 (UTC)

i miss life

i miss my old life. no worrying
about friends, just worried on when
the next meal was or the next time
i'd see my own bed..i'd take that
life over knowing everyone hates me
anyday. i hate when they act like
they're nice but i can hear them
laugh when i leave. i know how it
is, i know exactly how it feels it
hurts and i feel alone all the time.
my step dad was mad today he threw a
coffee mug at me _& I&t & ;€broke:($&'my"$_;lip€¢¶open&&#!he_@=€said&&#(it_#(was¥^|because he saw my
cuts... only he would notice really?
not like he'll ever say anything
about it i mean really its less
times he has to hurt me i just do it
for him now silly thing is it doesnt
even hurt anymore and i dont feel
guilty my mom would kick me out if
she ever saw them she would have me
sent away but im not suicidal
frankly im afraid of dieing but i am
so used to pain.... having control
of it makes me feel sane and i feel
like maybe i can deal with everyone
at school who laughs and points and
calls me ugly or fat or emo€=€¥or @#^that@#..i@#$should@ $died.....i
just want to crawl into the dark and
never come back my £¥€head. is so. .much@&#safer




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