thatkayleighgirl

kay
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Ezoic
2010-08-18 15:42:06 (UTC)

Love

I think I'm in love. But I'm only 18, and I'm still in
highschool. I was once so willing to believe that any and
everyone could find their future spouse in school, but now
it seems impossible. i hate to sound cliche, but I really
feel like this time is different. He's my best friend.
I've basically told him everything. We spend a lot of time
together and a lot of time talking. He's from Korea and he
went home for the summer, but before he left we were
spending nearly every day together and I don't think we
ever went a day without talking. Sometimes the things he
said and did made me SURE that he liked me too. But then
other times I felt sure that we were only friends. When I
was thinking about all of this the other day I decided
that if he really did love me like I love him then he
would tell me, if that's what was right for us. So I
decided I would shift my focus from obsessing about him
and how he felt for me to what we can do together. We're
both Christians so our focus is what God wants for us to
do. Together we can be sincerely seeking God's will for
each of our lives and helping eachother get there and stay
there. While I was thinking about that I found this
quote: "Life has taught me that love does not consist of
gazing at eachother, but of looking forward together in
the same direction." I found that really encouraging, that
we could be in love and not put our focus on eachother
because I don't know if that's what he wants right now. I
don't know if he's ready for a relationship or maybe he
is, but he's too scared to say anything right now. I don't
know. But anyway, so I was very happy with my new decision
of focusing on God and what he wants for me and this guy
right now. Then I clicked on this thing on facebook that
I've used before and it's like a daily message from God.
Each time I've clicked on it, it's been something the
REALLY pertains to me. So I knew that on that day, it
would somehow pertain to love. But I really thought that
it would be more encouragement about letting that love be
focused on helping eachother instead of pursuing
eachother. Here's what the message said, "it's your heart
that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes. Listen to
the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and
you can be fooled. Feel deeply into your heart, and then
you will know the truth. Who makes your heart soar now?
Well, what are you waiting for?" So now what am I supposed
to think!?? Is God telling me I'm right and that this is
it?? And is He telling me to pursue it? That's what it
seems like to me! But how can I be sure? I think I'll
stick with the original plan and let God deal with it and
let this guy be the man. I'll keep my focus on helping him
and myself and if he wants me and its what God wants,
he'll seek me out.
--kayleigh


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