tnicewicz

My Struggle
2010-08-15 10:25:19 (UTC)

Saturday, Visited my wife in Rehab, Very emotional day

Horrible day. I visited my wife in rehab yesterday. It was
so emotional. When I got there I only got 10 minutes with
her, but the whole time I was there, we both cried. I love
my wife so much, I just want her to get better. We talked a
little before it was time for me to leave. When I left I
was still crying, I had to go and wait for the bus. I cried
for over 3 hours after I left, I was so upset, so depressed.
On the way home I had 3 or 4 panic attacks. I had to
double up on my Cymbolta, because if I did not, I would end
up killing myself on my way home. I am sure of that. It
took a while for the meds to start working, but I got over
it. I was still very upset even after the Cymbolta started
working. It was horrible. Very emotional. I miss my wife
so much, and I can't wait til she comes home to me and my
kids. My depression is getting to me as well. My dr. gave
me Wellbutrin, but that is not doing anything at all. The
only thing that actually works is Cymbolta. Although i take
that, i still feel very depressed at times, I just can't
cry, and my panic attacks subside after. Well, I got home
around 4, my mother in law was watching the kids, so I could
go up there and see my wife. She left shortly after I got
home, so I started taking care of my kids. Well, the cops
are knocking on my door. My downstairs neighbor called them
complaining about the noise. What the hell? It's only 4
something. I was not even home when the kids were making
all that noise. They are kids, they are going to make
noise. My mother in law had to entertain them somehow. She
was playing with them, kids are going to be kids. What the
hell. Well the cop left, he understood. On top of
everything, I went to school with the cop that came here
anyways, so it's all good. Besides that the rest of the
evening went well. I took care of my kids as I always do,
we watched a movie on the computer, and it was time for bed.
2 of them were out, and the other 2 were still up, so I
told them to go to bed. No problems there, my kids are
good, they listen to what they are told. I love my kids,
and at this moment the only thing that keeps me alive, are
my kids.




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