Allie

Bloody Kisses, And All That Come With Th
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2010-08-13 22:47:06 (UTC)

Loss...

Funny how when something truly terrible happens, and you
really feel loss for the first time as an adult, how few
people you can bear to speak to while you're falling apart.

Never thought I'd struggle with this... never thought it would
affect me this way. I never thought someone would be stolen
from my life so quickly either, without any real signs.
...I was sat next to him, talking to him just yesterday...
just twenty-six hours before I was told he'd been -taken- to
hospital in an ambulance.
He just stopped breathing, by all accounts. They tried to
bring him back for fifteen minutes before putting him in the
ambulance. I knew then... I knew when they told me that, that
he wouldn't be coming back, but I hoped.
I hoped... and I threatened. In my usual style, I threatened
the Gods... If he was dead, they best keep me alive for a long
long time, until i forgotten about this, else there would be
war.

I didn't think I could cry any more, much less the amount of
tears I have shed in the past 30 hours.

I feel weak, and pathetic.

I haven't felt like this for years.


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