imparis

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2010-08-13 12:47:22 (UTC)

Could not sleep last night

Hey Diary I could not sleep last night maybe got a few
little naps in but nothing to make a differences. I am tired
and its going to be a long day. Jon gets his transplant
today and Leah, Tait, Dallas, Troy, Dad, John and his friend
Mary are coming up. He did well through the chemo and
radiation. Thats not what was on my mind; it is Terry. His
kiss's kept me up all night long with body shacks. I forgot
how they felt better then Dennis. But... I don't know its
been since February since I have had any contact with a male
body and I really wanted him last night. I know it is crazy.
I said Tommy could not say I love you one day to one girl
then I love you next day to a girl he did not know and now I
have the same thing right in front of me. The only different
is at one time I did love him and he hurt me. Not as bad as
Dennis did I gave him 11 years the longest I ever given a
man and would of waited for ever for him even though the
last few years were almost hell. He kept making me cry by
pushing me away when i needed him. The break was needed but
it still hurts to lose 11 years of you life that were
important to you. Though last night Dennis did not really
enter my mind and I thank the lord for helping with that.
Prays were answered on the pain for that. Well what should I
do???? Every body going to dance tonight every body going to
feel all right everybody going to dance around tonight.......

talk later love always, me


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