Paris Life
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2010-08-13 06:53:18 (UTC)

New Day New Me

Hello diary, well today is a new day no more tears and
worrying a bout Dennis and not be able to see him. He is
history and a pray for him that a anvil will fall from the
sky. I was hurt and cried a lot but now I am at peace. I
asked god to take the pain from me and show me the way for
piece and I feel like I am there.
I meet an old friend today and it was just what I need a new
look at my self through someone else eyes. I was a person
who tried to please everyone around me doing things that
were best for them and putting me last.
He made me feel like a person again someone with great
worth in there life like it is my choice what I do and do it
with. Thanks to him is not enough.
We have been friends for 23 years that is a lot. Been
through a lot with him and he also broke my heart once. I
could never understand what I did and why people used me and
now I understand I did it to my self I gave my heart out and
did not get theirs in return. I am ready for a new day I am
not the same person I once was and am out to be in life not
just living it. So look out world here I come.
As a good song says I don't want to spend my life cheated,
waited to wake up one day and find that i let all these
years go by wasted.
One man wanted to marry me so bad that he did everything I
asked Married me then cheated on me left me wondering why I
was not good enough for this no good man. Then another said
he would not marry me because of differences but wanted me
to stay round. The last man wanted to marry me but said we
could not because of his health so I did everything for him
then out of the blue it went from i love you to we can only
be friends I asked how a heart can change. Now I have
someone who says they always loved me ans wants to try
again. I don't know If I can trust my self enough to try but
if I don't wont that be like wasting a chance. well its
late talk later
Love always and forever my friend