bittersweet

My Life Interrupted
2010-08-10 04:04:21 (UTC)

sad, dpressed, angry....?

I believe that someone can only take so much. What I don't know is
whether I am depressed or sad or angry or what. I'm done with this
everyday boredom and it makes me so mad that if I am this bored
with life, then my kids have to be bored with their life. I hate that i
don't have any money to take them to do more fun things. I feel like
a piece of shit sometimes when i think about this. I hate that I am
just so lazy and I don't even have enough energy to keep up with
housework, how can I find energy to take the kids to the park or
something?
So besides hating the fact that I have NO energy and NO money to
do fun things with my kids, I a. Also getting disgusted with my
weight. I can feel that my fake bitch of a mother-in-law snickering at
my sudden weight gain from when I quit smoking...which I started
back up once I noticed my weight on an incline. I gained about 15-
20 pounds from quitting. When I say something to my husband he
tries to say that it is because I just had a baby. That was 9 months
ago and I am about 15 pounds heavier now than I was a week after I
had my son. I can't even use that as a fucking excuse. This is
bullshit. It doesn't help that I am depressed and have no motivation
to exercise. Who hates their body and still can't do anything about
it....that would be me. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!
I'm done I have to go to bed...I'm gonna try to take my kids to the
park or something tomorrow.
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!


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