bittersweet

My Life Interrupted
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2010-08-08 20:57:01 (UTC)

A beginning of this mess, I call life

So I married my high-school sweetheart 6 years ago...we have been
together almost 10 years. We have 3 kids together. About 3 years ago,
we separated. We did this for several reasons. One of the biggest
reasons was because of his family. They were too close for comfort. And
it didn't help that we lived with him. They convinced my husband that
we should not move out until we could buy a house. They had
something against apartments. I on the other hand lived in an
apartment most of my childhood. So we were stuck living with these
people and my two daughters. I could not do anything with my kids
without my mother in law up my ass...putting her two cents in about
everything. It drove me crazy...it led me to becoming a pill Popper. I did
this so I could numb myself, make it easier living there. My husband
than became a gambler, spending almost all out money. So we decided
we would split. We needed to grow up and I couldn't stop the pile while
living in hell. I told him to move out with me and he didn't. He didn't
believe that his mother was all that bad. He was comfortable. So I took
my kids and moved out. I stop taking pills and I began a new life,
without someone looking over my should at all times. It was AMAZING.
My daughters were happier and I was happier. My husband eventually
grew up during the two years we were separated.
We got back together and were happier than we had ever been. We
decided to have another child! I got pregnant shortly after. We were
living in my 2 bedroom apartment at the time. I found out I was having
a boy! So we needed to move out because we would have been over
household. So we agreed to move into his parents in-law apartment. But
it was supposed to be for a year. Lets see, we details used this when I
was 6 months pregnant, and now my son is 9 months old. Its been a
year and we have not made a dent in our debt and have no money
saved.
I agreed to this because his mother said she would leave me alone. Now
she is falling back to her old ways and I am doing my best, not to fall
back into my old ways.
I have been clean for almost 3 years....and it takes every bit of will power
I have to stay that way. When I lived on my own, I never thought about
it. I was happy. But being back here, it crosses my mind too much for
comfort. I will stay clean for my kids if its the last I do. But I need to get
the hell outta this place.
So this is where we stand as of today. I figured I would start writing
about all this stuff, because my husband doesn't like to hear me bitch
about it. He thinks I over exaggerate how horrible it really is here. He
doesn't see how fact and vindictive his mother is to me when he is at
work, and when he is home, she is as nice as pie! I HATE FAKE PEOPLE!


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