ashwriter101

Journal of a Jedi Padawan
2010-08-07 18:38:37 (UTC)

What Is Wrong With Some Of These People?!

You remembered how I feared for my padawan? How I cared
for him? And how I did everything I could to protect him
when he'd let me? Apparently... Sith don't feel that way. Or
at least the Sith I saw. And so far, no one opposes what
happened! Remember how I said I was in the Sith academy too?
Well, a master was fighting another master and it was hard
to tell who was winning. One of the guy's apprentice runs
up, and tries to stab the other master's back. I saw it as
an apprentice trying to help his master. Well, the guy
blocked it, but was too focused on the other master to worry
about the boy.
The boy's master called for a moment, and he retraced his
blade. He walked over to his apprentice, and looked him in
the eyes. "My young apprentice, I do not appreciate your
actions. If I survive this encounter, you will be punished."
There is sooo many things wrong with that sentence, but I
sat on the sidelines, not interfering. I watched as master
fought master. Once again, the boy ran up and tried to help.
And again, his master didn't find it helpful. A time out was
called and the master walked over to his apprentice. I could
feel fear on the boy in a second, and the boy knew he was in
trouble. His eyes pleaded for a second chance, his hand
trembled slightly, his breath became half a second quicker,
but he stood before his master.
What I saw this morning, I will never forget. I never
could. The mentor waved his hand, and thats all he had to
do. The boy relived his worse nightmare, and screamed in
fear. The master didn't let up though and the boy fell on
his knees, trying to shake the nightmare out of his head.
The boy pleads for mercy, but the master doesn't even so
much as blink. The boy began to claw at his own eyes and
babble. Finally, the poor boy lost all sanity, and the
mentor turns back around, got back in fighting position, and
was ready as if nothing had happened.
I couldn't watch as the boy relived a nightmare. I looked
around at everyone and they watched as if it was nothing. I
longed to walk away or at the very least stop the man! I
wanted to help the boy, with all my heart. But, I looked at
the opponent who stood watching. I knew that by looking at
him, I would not be found "weak" or afraid. I also didn't
have to watch the boy suffer either. The screams and cries
of mercy were drowned out by a song I had in my head. The
opponent caught my eyes and glared at me, then the boy, then
the master, then back at me. I looked down slightly, and
watched as the boy fell to the ground with no sanity left. I
can't describe how I felt at that moment. I was torn from
living, and doing whats right. I know I could have saved
that boy. But, I also know that if I had done so, the mentor
would do the same to me, and I would be attacked by everyone
there. They saw it as a sign of weakness, when I would see
it as an act of courage and kindness. If I had interfered, I
would be dead, and I would do no good to the Jedi Council. I
wanted to help with all my heart, but a voice in my head
told me not to get involved. I was afraid, sad, horrified,
astonished, and appalled. But I stayed where I was, bit my
tongue, clenched my hands in a fist, and somehow ignored the
cries.
Being a Jedi, they say you cannot have these emotions.
But you have to know what they mean by this. They don't mean
you can't feel anything. You would be a droid, if you let
that happen. No, you can feel. You can be afraid. You can be
sad. However, you have to teach yourself not to let your
emotions control you, and you have to think before you act.
Luckily, I thought... for once. We are taught to mourn life,
even of your enemies. I felt bad for the boy, even if his
master did not. If I see something like that again though, I
am going to interfere and say SOMETHING to get us both out
of that mess. So, may the Force be with you.




Ad: