EllySunami

Letters to Nancy
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2010-08-06 21:58:38 (UTC)

Just gotta let him go

Dear Mom.
I wrote Randy a text saying that i cant be friends with
him anymore. I cant watch him love her anymore. Its too
much pain. So I said goodbye.... waited a while to see if
id gett any reply ( and i didnt =( ) then dealted his
number, blocked his facebook, and i refuse to look back..
It kills cos theres so much i want to tell him, so many
sorrys and i love yous that i want him to know about, but
hes done lisenin to me. So i have to be done trying. I
love him, he was my best friend, he was going to be my
husband and the rest of my life but its over now... time
to try to move on and Jon maybe a good place to start. Im
going to see him in Orleans tomorrow. He asked me out and
i told him that i would think about it... I think im going
to say yes. Maybe if Jon and i go far, i can truely forget
about, Randy=(. Or maybe ill think about how if i wasnt so
dum i would be kissing Randy insted of Jon.

Mom, if you were alive you would know what to say.
You will give me the words to applogise to Randy in a way
that he would lisen and belive me. But ur not here. I know
you loved randy as much as i did. You thought he was a
smart, nice, funny country boy who was just right for
me.... i pushed him away cos he himself reminded me of
you... but i should have held closer to him cos i know u
would aprove. you would aprove of dating and wedding and
staying together. any guy i meet from here on out i can
never be sure of what you would think....God i miss you,
and i miss Randy....But BOTH of you are gone and i have to
move one...one step at a time.

I love you mommy.
Your litle "wiskey girl",
Ella


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