ana7.5

My Journey
2010-08-05 18:52:19 (UTC)

Oh times the are a changing!

Well I got an email last night saying my beautiful dress
had been dispatched! So this is it, I need to drop a dress
size in just over a week to make sure I fit in it. Today is
the first time in ages that I haven't had a chocolate bar.
Even just saying it is makinh me crave one! I usually have
one on the way to work, or after work, but I'm determined to
do well with this diet so I'm not having one.

Not having fizzy drinks isn't a problem for me, half the
time I don't really like them becuase I can taste the
difference between the carbonated water and the syrup they
use. And I love drinking water!

I am doing something slightly bad, taking the diet pills
again, but I've only got enough to last me til this party
for my dress, and I've thrown the rest away. I jusst really
really really want to look good in this dress.

My boyfriend has a gig on Saturday night, and I'm gonna be
having 2 vodka diet cokes and the rest will just be water!

Sorry I really do sound obsesssed, I'm not that person,
that's not me. I'm just so fed up of not being happy with
the way I look, and I usually only last a few days on the
diet but not this time. I'm not happy with my body anymore,
and I won't be happier until I get back to my weight that I
was 2 years ago (and even then I felt fat). I need to drop
about 30 odd lbs, I'm not going to give myself a time limit,
that's just how much I want to lose, and this time, I'm not
going to give up. I have a holiday next year, I have a
boyfriend who I want to impress: but I'm really jsut doing
this for myself. I stupidly worked out the conversion from
stones to lbs wrong, so I feel like now I've put on 10lbs,
although really I was just been a bit daft.

I did my Davina Fit dvd again today, made it through the
aerobics, kick fit and yoga sections, so I'm very very proud
of myself to that. Going to have a night in tomorrow with
the boyfriend, and probably won't be on on Saturday either.
Will try and get on on Sunday, but depends if the boyfriend
is coming to stay at mine again.
Today in total I've had 772 calories and 5.6 grams of fat
today! And according to the bootsdiets website, I have
burned off roughly: 555 calories!! I feel great for it
today, but tomorrow I reckon I'll feel super tired from it etc.

I hope that when I come on here again soon I'll not sounds
so obsessed with the whole thing, but I really don't have
anyone to talk to about this really, and I think I need to
tell someone how I'm doing. My boyfriends sister is
currently going through the same problem, so we have each
other for support but I like the idea of not speaking to
anyone I know, and just putting this out there in cyber space.

I suppose I'll introduce myself now, I'm Jessica and I'm 21
years old, I'm a natural happy go lucky person, I have a
good job, a great boyfriend and a good set of close friends.
I've always dreamed of being someone in my life, and up
until a few years ago i felt like I was. I was the life and
soul of every party, I was the one people wanted to hang out
with, until I started piling on the pounds a little bit.
With that I lost my confidence, but I did get a great
boyfriend. Since getting with him, I added more and more to
my weight, he says he can't tell, but I can't even get a
pair of jeans on from then past my thighs. Like I said
earlier, I'm not this fitness freak, I said it earlier, but
I really aint. I just need an outlet to vent all my
frustration into today. So sorry for sounding like that.
And I hope soon I'll come across as the happy person I used
to be!!

Over and out!
xxx




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