halfheartedhottie89

dramas of a young single mum of two
2010-08-05 17:01:58 (UTC)

boredem or angry mood swings

i'm sat on my sofa watching family guy. well ive watched
about four. ive recorded them on my sky box. just going
through all my recordings cos im bored. and im just
thinking do i wanna go back out to mums house and see
victor meldrew. and walk misty (my husky and be uptight and
snappy or stay home and die of boredom????
what to do.... i have no idea. am thinking about having a
nap. i'm emotionally drained. gotta make a donation to
upload my picture how sad is that.. i know i know im twenty
one and sounding 71 loool. peters been sweet texting and
phoning to make sure i'm okay. he's worried. and i was
really snappy with him earlier and i feel horrible. but i
just cant help it. the chairman was like "i am trying to
understand sj's mood swings as her behaviour is not of one
of someone who is depressed. she wears make up and does her
hair. and uses fragrances" at which point i interupted. "so
basically because i dont smell and im hygeinic i cant be
depressed... meaning depressives are unhygeinic?" its
disgusting of them to seem to believe that if you are
depressed you should have greesy messy hair, serious body
odour, and dress like a tramp everyday. THEY ARE PATHETIC.
WEARING MAKE UP AND MAKING MYSELF LOOK PRESENTABLE IS
SOMETHING I DO TO KEEP MYSELF STRONG FOR MY FAMILY. just
because i feel like shit doesnt mean i have to look like
shit too. i have never been so angry and offended in my
entire life. they also brought peters custody battle into
it. and that was in 2001 when i wasnt even in peters life.
and the fact that i had a slight (borderline) eating
disorder, they said that i had anorexia nervosa. yes that
is true but not to the extent that it matters now. or has
anything to do with my children right now. am trying to
find a nice way to tell them to fuck off but aparently i
have no choice but to attend their meetings and listen to
the lies they spill and hope for the help i know only too
well i'm not going to get. i just dont get how i am
supposed to stand there and accept that they have reason to
protect my children when thats peters job and its my job to
protect them. ours alone. no one else has anything to do
with it. but because some childless social worker who hasnt
the first clue what its like having children but can tell
us how to do our job cos they some how managed to gain a
qualification from reading a book about children, can
protect them... from who? a dad who hits them? a mum that
is hooked on drugs and lays on her back? nooooooo just a
young mum that takes her kids out and lets them mingle with
other kids rather than go to a childrens centre and pretend
to like the other young mothers and their attitude problems
and two facedness. ha! the law can kiss my arse. its not
justice. i hate our system with a passion. xxSJxx




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