EllySunami

Letters to Nancy
Ad 2:
2010-08-03 12:46:33 (UTC)

He has somthing special...and so does he....and him.... shit. im a slut now=(

Dear Mom,
Guess who called me last night? Randy? shit no. hes all
love drunk on his slut/emo gf...Shai? Nope, to busy trash
talking me. Spnagler? yup.. im not sure how to take it. he
said that the reason he didnt talk to me was cos he felt
about about going to far and thought i wanted space... now
the ? is do i beleive him...We talked on the phone for
exatly 4hours. 28mins 37secs. We talked about everything
from his dying grandma to gay guys. lol. He made me smile.
not a fake smile, but a real smile. he made me for get the
pain the hurt, the shit everything. for a while anyway.
Part of me wishes he would ask me out again. The fairy
tail could pick up right where it ended about a year
ago...but the other part of me is glad he hasnt. Deep
inside i know it may never work. Hes too much of a love em
then leave em typ and im too much on holding to the past
typ. Plus how much can i really trust him, now?Yet when we
are together, things just click. Not just in a romantic
way but in a best friend kinda way. and although i may not
trust him with my heart, he has alread proven i can trust
him with anything else. rather its beeting the shit outta
ass holes who need a ass wippen, or telling him my deepest
fears and knowing he wont spill a thing. We agreed to talk
again tonight..we'll see where things go...

As if thats not bad enogh boy drama, Ive been texting
this guy named Jonah for the last month or two. I meet him
at Britts church and we swiched numbers. we talked quit a
bit but i never really liked him like that...but today he
asked me out!! Hes sweat and funny and supper hott! But he
doesnt know much about my life behind the smile. and
freakly, im not sure if he can handle that, nor if he
desreves to..plus i wanna see where things go with
Spangler.... yet i think it maybe a good idea to see what
would happen with me and Jonah. I mean, he might not break
my heart the way Jon did. And i can always hide stuff from
him....Ill have to think about this too....

Wheres Randy? Love drunk on slut island. grrr...why do i
care? Why do i flinch when i see pics of him with "her"
Because they are all wroung for ethother? They like
differemt music, hes a country boy, shes just...just a
slut. But still why should i care?? Because I am just
right for him? because we do have stuff in common?
Maybe... because i scewed up? because if i wasnt such a
dum ass hed still be mine? Most likly... but hes " in
love" with her and he doenst trust me anymore so it really
doesnt matter..endless a mirical happens, one of the best
guys in my life is gone. I might as well move on!! And
Jonah and Jon would be a good place to start.

I love you. God, I miss you. And I
forgive you
Love Elly


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