xxjadeyxx

hurt
2010-08-02 13:58:43 (UTC)

my dad...

okay this is probably one of the most emotional things i
talk about, pretty much after the thing with my dad
threatening to kill mum well my mum was scared to say no
and he had to see us, sometimes even every weekend, if not
then once or twice a month. whenever me and brother went
there we stayed on saturday nights and just watched tv and
ordered a chinese takeaway. i loved it even though it was
only simple, my brother used to fall asleep first on the
sofa and then it was just me and my dad awake, joking
watching old tv shows from the 80's that he used to watch,
just being a father and daughter.

that only lasted about 6 months then slowly the times we
went there no longer happened. i didn't notice at first i
just thought about how he had his own life and we didn't
have to go there all the time.

by the next summer we were never really seeing him, so the
for the next year we didn't see him and it was really
hurting me, i tried self harm, it was only scratching on
the top of my wrist and you could barely notice it but
surprise surprise my mum did and flipped. i denied it. that
summer i went to my nans and i texted my dad half way
through my two weeks stay and he told me he'd come to
yarmouth and see me, he arrived saturday morning and i was
upstairs and as i walked down the stairs to see him he
said ''hello darling, wow you look beautiful, come and give
your dad a hug'' happiest moment of my life at the time.

he stayed the whole weekend and he took me down to the
beach and the amusments at the sea front, and then he
stayed the night and the next morning he took me to see one
of his friends i'd never met. he seemed nice but he was
weird and then dad went home, that was the last time i saw
him... and it kills me, he can say he cares about us but he
doesn't try in the slightest. i miss being his little girl
sometimes but other times i know hes not worth the tears
and pain...




Ad: