smileiloveyou

hikari nikku
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2010-07-28 03:37:44 (UTC)

explosion of thoughts, this is simply chaos.

I don't know how to think. Or at least express what's on my
mind in a way people would understand. I guess this "diary"
will help. typing is much easier then writing it out, but
still. I just wish things were better for everyone right
now, yet i know it's almost impossible. [smile] I never
wanted to come back here after today, or any day I'm having
a great time with my friends. This house is not a home, so
why come back. This time next summer, I'll be in Oregon^^
Eventually things will look up, but I'm not excited to go
back to school, the energy surrounding that school are just
uneasy. I'm tired, and I just want to move on with my life.
Maybe I'll do cyber, that way instead of just a visit, I'll
simply move to Oregon. Ugh, but I'll miss people here. &
[him] What to do.... Wish the sky could tell me, maybe see
the answer in the clouds. But loving [you] is harder than
expected. We've been through so much, but right now.... I
don't even know what's going on in your head. What I'm
scared of is that I'm right. Maybe i was just a toy for you,
a toy you got to play with when you had nothing else, now
I'm tossed aside because your new toy was fixed, and I'm
just another scattered memory. [thanks for the memories] but
seeing your face makes me want to burst... I fall apart at a
simple thought, even when i just wish i could get you out of
my head. my best friend tells me I aught to just tell you
how I feel, but it's so much easier said than done.
especially when I never have the time too. simple enough [i
miss you] i don't know what else to say right now. [sadness]


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