Conkerall2000

The Supreme Ruler
2010-07-17 12:40:57 (UTC)

Friends

This is really weird for me. I never usually write but I
really need too, especially today. I have so many thoughts
and questions running through my head and I dont knwo what
to do. I guess this is a releif, especially since I cant
really talk to anyone here on a more personal level.

I guess the biggest thing is Im feeling a little
depressed. Im stuck in this deployment and Ive been going
strong for several months but now it seems like everything
is collapsing.

When I first got here, I made sure of it to keep in
contact with everyone; to include friends and family and
the person I was dating. As time slowly went on though,
everyone seemed to loose interest and now I barely talk to
family once a month. I am also currently single but that
occured when I basically entered this hell hole desert
which is called a country.

I guess I dont understand what happened. Thats the biggest
thing. It seems that I really dont have any true friends
besides one or 2 who I met online... which there is
nothing wrong with that, but it is slowly gettting to me.
My best friend I have talked to twice since I've been over
here.. I've talked to my mom about 3 times and that
includes the rest of my family. I guess the thing is I
feel lonely. I work with the same people everyday and do
the same job every day and I dont feel like Im connecting
with anyone. The only time people seem to talk to me is
when they want or need something. Its never hey how are
you, or whats going on, or want to hang out after work.
I guess the thing is I feel kind of useless. Its driving
me crazy.

Im at the point were I just want to click the restart
button and make everything a new. Ive done that before
though, its kind of why I joined thae Army, but It didnt
help any........just like now I have a friend who hasnt
talked to me for about 2 weeks, because hes been to busy
and he just came here to ask me for a favor. ahhh..... I
dont know what to do and this whole moapping thing isnt
the coolest either, main reason I never do it. I just
needed to let it all off though. Even though I t would be
like 10 pages long if I really put down everything.

Well I guess I have to go and help out now because if not,
then its going to be a never ending process... "hey can
you help me" until I finall cave in.

Well I guess this was a pretty good stress releiver and I
think I will type some more later




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