Man, I still let ex fuck with my mind. She said that she
would let me see the kids this weekend. I know it wasn't
going to happen but I stayed home waiting for them just in case.
It suddenly hit me. Ex is doing this because she doesn't
want me to go out and have fun. Well, I finally responded to
one of her emails. Usually, I just let it go or reply in
small insignificant chit chat because there is no trust in
what she says and does.
I replied with her saying what I truly think. I told her
that I now realize she says things about the kids just to
keep me from going out. She wants me as insurance in case it
doesn't work out with her man.
I told her she is wasting her time and that I'm ready to
start dating. I've turned down a couple of proposals from 2
or 3 women. Don't know if I didn't feel ready yet or what.
I'm starting to realize that I'm stupid for not doing
anything about it. I mean, how many times do women give you
hints that they are interested in you?
In fact, I don't even have to get serious. We can just go
out and socialize. It would be nice just to have a
conversation with another women that isn't lying, cheating,
or have a hidden agenda. It would be nice to chat with
someone just to get to know each other. What a fucking
concept!!! See how distorted my life has become? I no longer
know what normal is suppose to be.
I have a picnic with my clique today at the lake. lol!! It's
a single parents group and I'm starting to feel a little out
of place now since I don't take my kids to these events
anymore. They are a fun bunch so I keep going because I'm
already friends with them.
Till next time Diary, Please help keep me sane. haha