Confessions of madness
2010-06-30 22:22:41 (UTC)

Im confused.

These last couple of days have been, well, confusing.
I stayed round M's a couple nights ago and things went well,
then my mother was happy, very happy when i saw her after
that as she had been offered a place at college so shes very
well. Then today we had family counsolling. I thought no
problem, were getting on fine. Aparently not. Because i
spent a bit more time out of the house then my brother (I.E
saturday during the day and occasionally a night at a
friends) i am less of a person. She was going on about how
my brother was there for her, how he helped her more, how he
did more chores. Bull. I do just as many if not as many as
him. I will help her without being asked. I will sit her
down and talk to her or get someone to talk to her. I make
sure she is okay and if shes not i make sure shes secure.
But because i spend more time trying to be myself, im a
terrible daughter.
So that was more fustrating then confusing but things got
weirder. Later on, the Whale who decided i was childish and
didn't want to be friends with me, is now friends with me.
We talked and she came around to the idea that actually, im
not that childish. So now she wants to be best buddies again
which im keeping on my toes about just incase this turns
badly. I was so confused, i was shaking.
Now this part is more embarrasing then anything else. I
almost died today.
I have a habit of masturbating in the shower and when i did
so today, not unlike most days, i passed out. This time
however, i was chewing chewing gum.. I choked on said
chewing gum. I woke up not being able to breath and passed
out again. LUCKILY my throat threw everything i had eaten,
including the chewing gum back up. My mother just thinks i
had food poisoning. I am a dick.