My thoughts
Ad 0:
2010-06-30 21:21:56 (UTC)

He remembers...

Okay it is another one of those days... They email
everyday that he works. He was emailing with her again. He
can't remember my birthday, our anniversary, or anything
that is about me or us. But he can remember her birthday!
WTF is with that? I have decided that christmas for me for
him will be really easy I want nothing from him. My
birthday even though it is my 40th? The same. I am tired
of competeing with someone that shouldn't matter. He
doesnt joke or laugh with me the way he does with her. He
says that out of everyone he dated there isn't any that he
would want to be with now. Then why does she matter so
much to him? What is with all the emails? He claims he is
here because he loves me. How can you love someone you
barely speak to or even know is around? I have tried
everything to get his attention from fixing his favorite
foods, sexy clothes, no clothes, loosing weight, and even
just getting all dressed up and leaving without telling
where I am going. NOTHING FUCKING WORKS! It is honestly
like I don't live here. I had to make an issue over sex,
it happens maybe once a week if lucky. It is really like I
dont matter or even live here. He says it is just that I
over think things. Somethings yes. This no... Barb asked
me if an affair would help. No, it would only add stress
and the lies would eat at me.

So for now I just sit here as dumb as I was before without
any more answers than I had before. I just feel like I
should say fuck it all. Does all this really matter?