Street_smart

Experienced Life
2010-06-26 20:08:57 (UTC)

doing the right thing sucks

Well, I finally pissed my Ex off. I didn't swear or
anything. I did give her my opinion on what she was doing.

You see, she keeps telling me she is coming back soon and
that the kids miss me. Again and again and again and again.
It really pulls on your heart when you think you get to see
the kids and then the same old excuse or lie comes out.

I haven't seen the kids since they left. Except for the 7 yr
old's presentation at school, I never saw them again. Sure I
miss them but ex is just too much of a liar.

Today, I finally stood my ground on what she does. I told
her that I don't want to hear what she has to say. I don't
want to hear that she loves me. I don't want to hear that
she misses me. I don't want to hear that the kids miss me.
They miss me because she took them away from me!!!!

She has the gall to say that I don't ask for them. WTF??!! I
just asked for them to be with me on Father's day and she
never even called me back to say no. So fuck her!!!!

Today I told her that she needs to see a doctor. Staying
under the same roof as her boyfriend and at the same time
telling me they aren't doing anything and wants to come home
to me is just too fucking weird.

I told her that all this text shit is high school and we
should be talking instead. What an idea huh?

I told her I'm not pathetic and desperate like him. I asked
her how she can look at herself in the mirror every day. I
told her that her kids will become just like her.

After a while, she finally had enough. My reply text to her
came back undeliverable. Well I called and she changed her
phone number.

Finally some peace. This is what my soul needed. Yet, it
hurts because now I won't be there to watch over the kids.
The older kids will want some of that SS money and use it
for them instead of using it for the little kids to be
baseball practice, piano lessons, gymnastics, etc.

What a warped family. I was the only one that took the kids
to the park, bounce houses, zoo, community events, movies,
Mcds (with the playground), etc.


Anyway, why do I feel so bad? Isn't this the right thing to
do? I guess I miss the kids. I hope to God they aren't
hurting for me that way I am. At least I can keep my mind in
control. But my kids won't have that kind of control. I hope
to God that God is watching over them.

There was this joke that I have angels watching over me.
It's weird but it's true. Somehow someway, I've been watched
over and taken care of at the worst of times. I just hope
they can watch over the kids.

Well, I did the right thing. Why do I feel like shit?
God thing I still have percocet and champagne. That's what
I'm having for dinner tonight.


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